I was reeling with shocked when I found out. You left me in the dark for almost a year.

I didnt know how to react with my emotions running high, instantly Ive never felt this angry towards you like this before.

I had assumed when we closed our chapter we had done so with utmost mutual respect.

The charade you had been putting up for me all along had been another one of your lies.

This is not how I would like to learn of what was being told to me. If you could have been honest and sincere with our post friendship relationship, I would gladly accepted the news with much happiness. But the denials you gave, the missing me which you said, the good nights with sweet dreams which you sent all this while made me realised you will never change.

My tears for you is no longer that of a missing lover. I have long moved on with my life. But my tears for you now is the remorse of how I had made myself trust you.

I am very sure you have your reasons why you were hiding it for from me, if truth to be told I know you still love me. Sadly, I do not want to be a fool for the third time around, and I wasn't lying to you when I said I am doing fine with my life especially without you.

Gendeng.. I thought we could have been good friends which was what I wanted nothing more and nothing less. The essence of what we used to have will always make me fond of you,one of the sole reason why I never pushed you out of my life completely. But I dont think this will be possible if being honest is a chore for you.

Although I had my suspicious for quite awhile and despite the anger I felt I guess I am truly happy for you. I hope someday you will be man enough and come up to me to tell me yourself. Irony is so funny, I recalled you telling me receiving a wedding invitation with my name in it will be hard for you to swallow and that you will not be there to witness the day. But I guess life has a weird way of showing up surprises all the time.

After all that said, I would like to extend my congrats to you for your engagement. I am sure it is very long overdue..

" Pergi saja cintamu pergi
Bilang saja pada semua
Biar semua tahu adanya
Diriku kini sendiri

Padamkan saja
Kobar asmaramu
Jika putik itu takkan ada
Yang aku minta tulus hatimu
Bukan puitis"

**********

Kak Lini you have my most heartfelt thanks for making me feel better by pigging out with me for dinner last night. Seoul Garden left me feeling elated, very oriental way of doing it instead of resorting to your 2 favourite man but I refer them as my 2 best friends when I have my woes, Mr Ben and Jerry ;)

And to my LMT, you have been adorable in an annoying way. One of the reasons why my heart go jelly for you sometimes :)