A New Year..A New Beggining..(i hope..)

Happy New Year 2005!!
Its been wet lately,raining non-stop..
And today its the second day of a new year 2005,hw times flies and alot of things occured in 2004 that is still unfinished..
So today i would like to summarize and wrap up my 2004..

But first up its my new year celebration! The bbq gathering eventually did happen last minute and its a very low key gathering with old frens from Qihua Pri Sch.. I guess dis bbq thingy beats any other parties or clubbin on new yrs eve ,i mean hw more fun and enjoyable can u get wen u hav frens and laughin non-stop the whole night(we dun even need music!!)!! We got high alrite!! High on food and free flow of plain water,hahaa no cover charge also! Plus Elfy my fren makes a special cameo for the nite hehe reunited to meet Kin, they were frens bk in pri sch before Kin moved to woodlands..But sadly she had to leave early la, got werk the next day..

Gosh the whole night was really stimulating especially wit all the 'sex' talk,hehee its like sumthg out of a Sesame Street episode,whrby,the word of the nite is balls hahaa we ladies r crazy!!
By 3am all of us invaded Kin's living room to watch Meet the Fockers,which halfway thru the movie i fall asleep..hehee..Anyways left ard 6am feelin shagged oops!! Shack i mean!!hehee..
Anyway sum pics to share..




oh dear! We ladies sure need lessons how to bbq the right way la! but anyways
the black balls still taste gd..hehee


Yazif u shud hav shown sum teeth la,wat a spoiler! We cud hav pass off as a Colgate ad..rite ladies???



Yes i hav to mosaic that image..hehe so unsensored yazif! Tryin his best to turn us on (wit Asparagus!yikes!)


And the 'aftermath',dats Islyana on the sofa..Anyway we all are scattered around the room..



Thax guys for the company that nite!!It cud not hav been better!

So this is how i end my 2004, wit frens lost and found again..
I mean last year had been a stormy year for me so many turbulence,sumthg like tsunami..heh..2004 the year where i wasted a lot of tears,the year which taught me a lot about feelings and appreciating it..

All i want to say is,whatever happened in 2004 is lesson learnt its been rough for me and im still mending watever wounds i have. Thanks to those who were there for me (Baida, Elfy, Rajan) for being my shoulder to cry on, I wasn't myself most of the time last year and u guys pull me thru and made me believed that things will be alrite..I put up a front as if im the happiest person to walk around this earth, laughing like nobody's business, but pretending can be tiring.. I collasped when i cant hold back anymore and u guys were people i trust to understand the feelings i myself cant comprehend. All my life i've been tough, i hate to look vulnerable but watever feelings i hav pent up inside is eating me up.. if i did not let it all out (esp u baida) i will not still be the person i am today..My heart has suffered so much and this year has been an impact to evrythg thats building up inside..

For this year..I want things to be better i do not want to waste my tears and dwell my problems on my own and if i were to let my tears roll freely dwn my cheeks it will be a joyous cry..All i want for next year is to be able to get 2 of the most wonderful person i love to understand that things will work out..

For her: U cud not hav been anymore special to me then u alredy are, uve given me life and i don't ask for more..i juz hope you will understand that i didn't mean to hurt u,i rebel because i want u to understand my feelins juz like hw im tryin so hard to understand urs..Im not perfect, and i want u to allow me to make my own decision and if that decision is a mistake like u alwiz assume it will, let me learn my own mistake juz like how u did..let me understand how fragile life is.. I understand so much that im growing up so fast for u but its not dat i want too,i canot go against natures will,i will always be that person and can nvr be someone u tot u lost.. ive always loved when we will spend our time together, giggling and telling u stuff i wont even tell my frens but as we grew apart i missed dat..ive nvr hold any secrets but now im forced too until u learn to accept that this is my life let me stand on my feet.

For him: U came into my life at the darkest moment and u change evrythg..U let in sunshine that i thought hav died..I was afraid but u told me to trust u and i took ur hand and i really learnt how to love.. I was afraid that if i let into my heart i will lose u juz like how i lose the others.. BUt thru all the storms that we've been thru u r still here with me, i knew at a point of time u wanted to gave up, i was devastated i knew i do not want to hold u back but i guess sumthg is holding u back too and that is why u r still here, love. We laughed, we cried, we teased, we talked,i felt so loved by u,i do not care what ppl thought of u,to me u r special n no other guys can compete that (not even brad pitt). What ive learnt frm u is to love someone from the inside not on the outside, nuthin matters upfront if deep inside u r not as good as u potray on the outside.. Thanks for still being here, thanks for tolerating me in my utmost terrible behavior that uve seen,sumtimes i think i dun deserve u.. but oh well,love is sumthg u cant fight with..All i can say is, pls dun giv up on us let us work this together,i know we can..

Oh goodness!wat a long entry..i guess i shud stop here. And one last thing my new yr resolution is to be punctual!!yea punctual!Its a bad habit la..
K la hav a great year ahead to anyone whos reeading..hehee