Whenever someone who is aware of the existence of a certain man I had grown fond for almost a year and a half, asks if I am still smiling myself silly when it comes to him?

I wish then I could chunk out the period of one year and a half he sorta stole my heart never occured. Endless great conversations, the world cup betting, the laughters, the wonderful dates,
discovering how much we love seafood platter, his charm and wit. I willed myself not to fall for any of it but I did.

All I could offer was a weak smile, gave a brief gist of the story and requested that let's all move on like he never came into my life, period (im still abit sore how ignorant he is).

At this point of another man who walked in and out as he deem fit, I couldn't care for another man as easily. There are a few nice ones who made an effort to indulge a conversation with me once in awhile, asking me out if im available for a date but currently i feel so blah. It's not easy when most of my peers are settling down or attached. But upon self reflection, I wonder how some of them are prepared to give up their singlehood . I may yearn for that special someone but I am far away from being a man's wife just yet.

That is the truth. The truth that I find laughing at my own self sometimes.Heh. It gets even funnier when I get people trying to pair me up with their sons or assuming that I am already attached. This is nothing to be boastful about actually but rather a tad bit embarrassing.

Never mind for now I have been disappointed again. But not to worry, there is never a day that goes by without me smiling and laughing. It must be the wonderful souls who surrounded my life with good aura. Resigning to my fate is having to give in to my weakness which is not a good sign so I shall not.

Okay enough of these inane ramblings, its about time I leave my office (heh yes at work). I'm off to meet my 2 favourite people in the whole universe my best friends (ok aside from my family of course). I bet it will be another female bonding session at its best! What with Elfy had moved to a place she can call her own. How fun! I have invited myself to come and crash her place anytime I want. Elfy cooks very well you know.

Sighh.. every new decision we make is another level up of us becoming more adult. Please correct me if i'm wrong but wasnt it just yesterday we were only 13, going crazy over Backstreet Boys and singing to Baby Hit me One More time?

Now, we barely have time for each other. We do have our squabbles due to this especially me and Baidah. Elfy is already a boss at her own stall, Baidah blossom into a corporate lady (my god this is so not her 10 years ago) and as for myself? I am busy losing myself into my work too. I love my job, even with all the #@$!% it came with. How do I know I love my job? Even after another exhausting day, I am still looking forward to go to work tomorrow :)

It pays to know what your interest are and where does your passion lies. Thus, for now this is the most important thing. A kind soul recently told me, it will come to you naturally without you searching for it. I heard that a million times but somehow she said it with much honesty. Coming from a lady who's already forty plus, im sure she knows what she is talking about.

Toodles!