I always tell my friends you tell him what you feel. And they will always say they will never have the courage to do what I did. To me it wasn't so much about the courage, it was about knowing your prerogative.

So I had professed my love to someone before. You name it. I wrote him emails, on the phone, smses, upfront and even hinted it in my blog. I may sound like a loose woman but of course I did it with my pride and dignity in tact. And one of the reason which this guy will always be fond of me was my bluntness. It amuses him each time. I wonder now that I might have been too bold for him all the while although he had known he had never acknowledge it.

In a peculiar way I have no shame or regret in doing what I did. I followed my heart assuming what it could have been. The only regret that I have was to know he never gave it a chance and was undecided in so many ways. The main reason I figured was he haven't really gotten over his last relationship.

Then again on the irony side due to this incident, it makes me more leery how I should open up to people.

Amazingly, I got into my current relationship without going through the 'i-fall-head-over-heels-for-you' kinda thing and there was no dramatic 'i-need-to-confess-how-i-feel-towards-you' kinda thing either.

It was more like adapting to each other slowly and we have not even mention once to each other the big L-O-V-E. I haven't gotten paranoid just in case you are wondering, heh. In more ways then one I am liking how this is progressing. You must be thinking "honeymoon period mah" but hey! I should be allowed to have that entitlement like every new relationship shouldnt I?

What I am trying to say is, every relationship brings you a different experience and this one happens naturally. Getting to know this person everyday is a new discovery that well we might without knowing are in fact falling head over heels for each other.

You know I took the quote "each failed relationship brings you closer to finding an everlasting relationship" by heart. Honestly, I am clueless about the future of my current relationship with this man but I know and hope it will be for the best.

My dark knight might cringe when he read this (if he reads that is) but for someone who never express his feelings verbally showed me in so many ways that you don't need words to convey what you really feel all the time. I am learning well and good. Compromising rocks I tell you!

Though I do hope someday, verbally would be nice hear too sometimes. hehe

Pardon me, of late I have been relating sappy stuffs. You can't blame someone who is basking in some kind of nirvana.

Maybe I haven't said this before but it feels easier to say it here.
Your existence is affecting my present state of mind.
Happiness is one thing but it doesn't mean I have stopped having bad days.
I still do.
The difference is having you around these days makes it manageable.
A single phone call from you and a smile formed on my lips.
A warm cuddle with you and I feel better.
For that, you deserve my thank yous :)

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p/s: in order to feel sleepy i resorted to pen down my thoughts. Easily appeased and accomplished it is better then counting sheep (private joke). I don't why I need to justify to the dark knight just in case he nags that I shouldn't be sleeping late.