I am not feeling well as i assume i am..
I am not feeling physically but emotionally not well..

This is bad.


"Wake Me Up When January Ends..."

Its been a gd 17 minutes since midnight but the fireworks across the causeway has not cease yet as im typing this. Heh the very reason im not much in awe if my friends asked me along to watch fireworks display when there was one here in our island..

Yes i live in marsiling area which is very near to JB, and the strategic location of my flat on top of a hill,up on the 12th floor my house has a bird's eye view across the causeway that would make any penthouse owner envy (oh that is unless theirs got a view of a valley of some sort they win hands down).

And so just now i counted there were 14 fireworks display stretch out horizontally at different location,and that 14 does not include the ones i cant see from my flat! Wahlau its like chaos man! The booming sound you can hear and the myriad of colours brightening up the dark sky was so amazing! Spectacular i tell ya!

You see,every other public holidays or important events i get to see them fireworks that my family has become immune to, therefore we dont really bother about getting hype up for national day (haiiz because its no longer easy to get those ndp tickets) or new year's eve celebration..

At first i was amuse how often i got to view these fireworks, then mama told me that rich people over there can easily access buying them. Wah so i came to my conclusion JB has a lot of rich people with plenty of moolahs so they must have thought why not celebrate every joyous occasion in style and very extravagantly! How fun is that?!

Heh anyways, im sorry if this has been lis-stuck-up-bitch just because she gets to see fireworks everytime and she must brag entry! Pardon me :)

Oh Gong Xie Fa Cai to all my chinese friends and may you have a prosperous year ahead!!

As if its not already bad that i still have fear of being behind the steering wheel, yesterday's experience reaffirmed it even more.

We had a cab driver from hell when mama and me was sending nenek back yesterday. What's even more surprising was the driver was a woman la dey!!

When we first entered her cab she was very friendly at first but became quite annoying when she started asking when to turn left or right! The driving starts to turn hellish when we were at BKE and there were slow traffic. Mama commented that we could have went the other route, but i insisted that BKE and PIE was nearer so we could exit by Macpherson rd, the driver heard mama's unsatisfaction and told her not to worry that this route was faster and she will get us out of the jam. Lo and behold! She began to overtake on the left side! That's so wrong! And to make things worst she almost ran into a car in front of us but she blame it on them! And people this driver 'dont play play hor', macam gangsta you know! She started cursing @#%$%!! Shes even not afraid that there was police by the roadside some more! Then she speeds on, and she almost drive on the road shoulder, honking at every vehicles that goes her way, too fast too furious you know! I got so chicken! I turn pale and i held on to my seat till my knuckles turn white and i could barely hear my voice! It was not easy to be beside her, i was praying we reach our destination safely!

It got freaky la when she keeps honking at other vehicles for no apparent reason balls..And shes a woman for goodness sake,suppose to be cautious but she's so reckless!

When i alighted from the cab i told mama, how frightened i was sitting in front and how i still have doubts about my confidence in driving! She in the end told me its up to me if im not sure if i can carry on,kesian mama tengok anak die bebadi!

But then again although i have doubts the thing is i dont wish to give up yet.. Haizz this is one fear i badly need to conquer!

Any tips anyone..?

Relationships are very complicated arent they..?

I had my msn conversation with Baidah earlier in the day, when she suddenly said how lucky i am to still be able to tell 'him' that i miss him.

Never judge what you assume you see on the surface. Take a closer look and you see the damage done. I told her, despite the different circumstances we all face one thing that is similar, is the heart-wrenching pain we go through.

Although i still date him, we talk, occassionally share a good laugh and all, i sometimes wonder, does it matter to him that i miss him at all..? My relationship with him is very complicated indeed. We broke up but we are still very much in each others' lives.

If you ask me if i still care for him, i will say a definite Yes! If you ask me does he still gives me butterflies in my tummy whenever i see his number on my mobile and it instantly lit me up, Yup,still does! And if you ask me again if he still make me laugh, Absolutely! Finally if you ask me if i still love him..? in a way i still do very much..but im more guarded now, lets just say im very afraid to put my heart on the line and risk it getting hurt again and by 'him'.. I still hold on to hope, hoping that eventually things will work out, and hoping that he will be more 'brave' to express how he really feels instead of me having to figure what he's thinking half the time.

Him and me, we both know, love is not just everything in a relationship. We need faith,trust and loyalty. Honestly we lack in that. And you know what they say it takes two to tango. In the mean time, i still cannot bring myself to walk away from him yet, i dont know why. But im not proud of myself, although ive moved on 'in a way' i failed to make him vanish completely. So baidah its very torturous for me to have him in my life still and not able to make him completely mine. Real truth? How i wish, someone will sweep me off my feet, and i will look back at him sticking out my tougue and yell "your loss!",and i live happily ever after with my knight in shining armour!

But hah! just like John Legend sings we are 'Ordinary People'..

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So anyways, i went for my interview the other day, and was pleasantly stunned that it wasnt what i expected. I expected a small production company at an 'ulu' location! But the studio was big! i got intimidated instantly and felt my confidence level went right down to zilch!! i was fretting a lot and quite restless, good thing i had mama along with me, heh ok i always bring my mama along if i have a major job interview, she's like my Lady Luck la,no kidding!

After the interview i felt that i might not get the job, the lady who interviewed me was quite scary shooting me with all sorts of questions,i was stumped on a couple of them but managed to pull it through.. And well she end it with 'ok thank you, we'll call you back lis',now i hate that! So i told mama that i wont get it for sure, easy to say i screwed up! But mama comforted me that if its meant to be yours then dont worry just pray for it, haizz thats soothing to hear. So far whenever mama tagged along for interviews i always manage to get the job, cant say for this time though..

But i was surprised when today they called! and told me i should come down for the 2nd interview on monday! Sigh..its a good sign right?! haha well when i was there the other day the only good sign i saw in the office was the walls were my favourite colour 'deep purple'! haha i take it as 'a good sign'..

Well wish me luck ;)

Gendeng sms-ed me early evening to inform that he will be going to china this very night for a couple of days for work..When i got the news, i instantly have this longing feeling for him and it always happen if hes going away. Furthermore its been almost more then a week since i last met him that was before he went to KL.

And i just talked to him on the phone a few moments ago, hes in the transit lounge waiting for his flight at 2am and he made a correction to the mistake he said in his sms earlier in the evening. He is going away for a WEEK(!) instead of the supposedly couple of days, now i nearly shrieked when he told me that! Oh wait but i did shrieked at him! Thats like freaking torture ok! I will definitely miss him so much..


Anyways on a brighter note! im going for an interview tomorrow for one of the many resumes i send too! OOooh so exciting i tell ya! Now that's something that perks me up instantly after days of being glum and sullen, as if life has been suck out from me..urrgh i loathe that feeling..Pray i will get the job!

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Wearing Boots have never looked so chic and stylish till now, when 'they' made it look so 'in'

*Pictures from People








But Mama thinks its preposterous to wear these boots here *rolls eyes*, she even went as far to say that if i did don it,make sure that im not going out and about gallivanting it with her and cause her grave humiliation!

Im infatuated with these few pairs


by Marc Jacobs


by KORS shoes (as in Michael Kors)


by Fyre Boots

So i better get a job soon,because im very deprived from retail theraphy for far too long!!

**humming to 'these boots are made walking'


Toodles!

To reason with oneself and make believe everything is all bright and cheery
When the real truth is how skeptic one feels about certain things like intuition that maybe all along it was never right in the first place..

How does one deal with this..?
To wrestle the many entanglements of emotions involved.

Sometimes oneself puts the blame on the one who causes this grief
Or maybe the problems lies is actually within oneself..

So many complications but yet we are trapped in riddles we created,
I wonder when will the answers starts to unfold..

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The rain had stop pouring but i dont why i still feel so gloomy and glum..

Sigh...

ok ive been very sluggish the past few days, theres so many things to write about but once my fingers touches the keyboard it became numb and my mind just went kaput, (heh), that is until i saw this piece of juicy news


Read more from People.com

That's it honeys, we all can stop daydreaming about Mr Pitt.Ke-lem-piannnngg!!!! I hear hearts being broken everywhere! The highly anticipated confirmation has finally shown its truth, they are having a baby for goodness sake!! Miss Angelina Jolie is the lucky woman who gets to carry his baby, damnation!That surely wont let Mr Pitt stray away anytime soon ladies (*in a very authoritative tone).

Sigh, a perfect looking baby is on the way,
How can it not be, with a very handsome dad who looks like a greek god and a mommy who looks like a goddess from head to toe, i stress again how can it not be!


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In case there are those who are still in denial and say that this is just a piece of rumour, heh its not guys its confirm by both celebrities themselves..

No worries, i feel your pain too..

Somebody please clone Mr pitt for me!!!!!

There he goes..
There he goes again.. (* humming to the melody of There she goes)

There he goes away again for the weekend,
The urge to say yes on impulse when gendeng asked,
But of course i didn't..

Haizz..i was tempted nonetheless..

Happy Belated 23rd Birthday to Siti!


With her birthday gifts!

Such a bummer when i only got to join the fun after they had their dinner (due to my work commitment) but hey im still happy to share the other half of the memorable night! Im so glad 'the commitment' that i had ended early (*which i was praying so badly eh just so i could at least go back with them after the birthday dinner!i miss them bunch miserably!)

From what i gathered from Su, dinner was whacked and with a teary speech to boot (courtesy from the birthday lady), she was so estactic upon receiving her gifts, and boy! if only i could upload a video of Siti's expression upon receiving her new dwarf hamster! But too bad, the video is in Su's cam la.. She was so stunned! And yes 'We' (as in Nas,Su and Me who shared the gift), did not just 'hey-lets-buy-siti-anything' kinda gift and wham(!) decided on a hamster of all things, no, it came with great consideration from Su after she got the news from Zul (Siti's Boo) that her hamster just died..Awwww,just the perfect gift to replace what she had lost..


The so-adorable-buncit-cute-macam-nak-cubit dwarf hamster! Fact - according to Su dwarf hamster wont grow big.


Anyway, we ended up at Mac'D sidewalk al-fresco dining cafe at Lido to just bummed around before we call it a night, and what great fun when lo and behold! I finally so finally got to touch Nas new possesion! The D70 Nikon! Such cardinal pleasure to actually caress the handsome camera,hahaa.. Thanks to Nas and Su for having so much faith and trust in letting me getting touchy with it hor..hehee




What great timing! We ladies can actually pass off as Mac'ds advert tau! (check out the lorry behind us)


The complete group photo!

So guys, Zul, Siti, Az, Isly, Su and Nas, im so sorry if i could not join you guys much earlier but it had been a wonderful session as usual! And i hope we can do it soon, for a longer period *hint hint!*, cant simply wait for that one!

P/s: psst! guess who managed to join us that night?..heh

I simply love Ms Dynamite new album, she's back from her maternity leave (heh)..
Gosh shes got more soul in her music now, no more teen angst like her previous album, its more mature, and groovy urban beats with a mix of reggae..

Love it! Love it!

'Pain' is on repeat mode, i feel it man!

Go check out her new album 'Judgement Days'


Her Latest album cover

Greetings to everyone who is reading my humble blog :)

This marks my first entry for 2006!

How odd though, its already 2006 but somehow it still felt like last year..

Anyways hope the weekend had been wonderful,no matter how you celebrate your new year's eve!

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On another note jan and feb will be a very very busy month,i need to complete my school assignments..

God help me..i really really need to pull this through..

The stress has already begin..

p/s: ive watch king kong y'all!! ill keep that for the next entry, that is if i have free time..sigh