It has been an eventful year..
With natural disasters striking several times of the year at various countries (Thank Allah, we are spared), with the ongoing war in the middle east, political issues, terrorism,racism, bombings at almost every continent. It seems everything was at peak this year which made me think, the world this year is raging with negative karma.

And yes the worst of it all, was actually the beginning of everything..i think..
Tsunami strikes the shores end of last year when we were ushering 2005, that's the first of many downfalls for us globally..

A few days back, i watch documentaries on CNA, on Tsunami a year on.. As the visual relived the moments again, i felt i was transported back to last year December. No it has not gone away, the pain is still unhealed. I could not help but teared how hard life is for them, especially the orphans. Losing someone very dear to you is a scary feeling, ive had 'dreams' or you can say nightmares since its not pleasant, whereby either one of my parents passed away, in those dreams i cried so hard and strangely it felt so real, that even when i woke up drenched in sweat and out of breath i was actually crying, but relief washed over me when its just another dream, my parents were in the next room, alive and breathing. That made me feel secured. So imagine these orphans who did not have the chance to say sorry or even bid goodbye, or so much so to embrace their loved ones for the last time,is a pity. My heart went out to all the survivors of Tsunami and kudos to those brave young children who carry on with their life although their future is still bleak...

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And as for me, 2005 has been tough on me as well, i shed many tears,my heart was broken, i screwed up many times, things i wished did not happen, decisions i made, mistakes that i did and so on but despite all this, of course there were pleasant times! I turned 21 and had a great bash with wonderful friends, friends which i found 'again' and adore! I had fun experiencing internship in the industry (although some experiences were not all rosy!),make many new contacts, mend my broken heart, and mend relationships that had gone bad, and oh yeah our short film made it to the finals, and new people that was brought into this world this year that brings so much warmth to my life (namely my lovely nephew and niece)!!

So yeah its been a rough ride this year, but with beautiful memories that will etched in my mind for a long time to come :)

oh and 2006 will be in a few days time, and ive given up making resolutions every year, im just too cool for that (hehee kidding kidding!), but actually i dont actually do what i resolute! There you see no point at all, im such an undiscipline bitch who usually dont go by the book, you have to break the rules sometimes, and not be a Nazi (heh no offence)! But well i sure will like to fix what i messed up this year in 2006!

To everyone, hope 2005 will be memorable to you as it is to me (yeah plus all the good & bad!).. So here's wishing you all Happy New Year! and dont drink or party too much y'all! You never know the next earthquake or tsunami will strike on the eve this year (hahaa ok just teasing!)..

Till next year! (which will be in a few days la,so i wont be missed i suppose?!)

ok ive watch the chronicles of narnia last week, yup ive not watch Mr King Kong yet!

Yeah the plan initially was to watch the big guy, but gendeng decided that he need to get his shopping done. So yeah we cant possibly watch a late show since he had to work the next day, thats when we make do with COH, which he wanted to watch it more than me,although if we wait a little longer we could still watch King Kong ok!!
I was sore about it but heh not that i dont want to watch COH at all,

ok that aside,

What i think about COH its like a mini 'Lord of the rings', so special effects was good (which hollywood movie sucks at special effects nowadays anyway? they have everythg), freaking hell most of the scenes in the movie had been shot on green screen!wootness!!, its a feel good movie,which you want to go home and kiss and make up with your brother or sister,really! Its really a predictable movie by the way (you dont have to read the book to know,come on! with children acting in the movie you know you wont be disappointed). So yeah its quite entertaining with witty dialogues. Watch it :). Note: Im smitten with the beaver,very cute!!!

But still, im dying to watch King kong,its 3 hours i heard but heck im willing to endure that,

ok ok confession im actually a king kong fan la *smiling sheepishly* just wanna see how a 3d king kong looks like on screen heh..Still remember the old movie,back then when i was young and innocent, i was convinced that King Kong actually existed and And(!) believe it or not i think hes quite adorable! hah!

Gendeng's back (thank god!) so yeps, i have to make sure the deed is done by this week or he will not like the sight of me turning into a female king kong (hitting my chest and all!).Its quite scary, i can do a good impersonation of Mr kong. Like Durai had mentioned they might want to cast me for King Kong 2, oh the female king kong of course! Hey its quite degrading, but well if it gets me to hollywood glitz blitz im ok with that hehee

I was just thinking, what does it take to have each other trust again..?

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A year almost pass but the wound has not completely heal yet.

Sometimes i want to let you listen what my heart is saying.

Its tough.

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I want to race back in your arms, and feel your warmth embracing me.

Then i know that our trust is restored.

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Oh but i do not deny that things have been quite wonderful..

Well yeah, crap im missing him so bad..

Come back home sweetie..

I had one of those satisfying dinner in a long time just now,
Just mama, adik and me on a cool night :)

We had rice with kicap (black soy sauce), ikan bacin (stinky salted fish), telor goreng (fried eggs),cincalok (dried prawns in vinegar with onions and green chilli), and ayam tepung goreng (like KFC chicken, which are leftovers by the way),oh and of course ulam (herbal leaves)!

Yummy, its simple things like this can please me the entire night! Im not fussy la as long as its not 'ikan masak kicap' (fish cooked in black soy sauce) that i dont like!

Mama was lazy to cook heavy dishes since ayah was working late anyway..

Dah lama ok tak makan cincalok!! Macam shiok!! Finger licking good (literally)!

Hehehe.

So today marks the date that ive been blogging for close to a year.

Happy 1 year Anniversary ___________!! (maybe i should name my blog..?heh)


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Gosh cant sleep cant sleep,
Its 3am and im still awake with a gun in my hand..oops glue gun i mean
Doing something crafty for my cousin for her event this sunday, and i sure am happy with the way this 'basket' is turning out..sigh the things im willing to do for people on my own accord..

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What annoys me more is the past week i get strangers who are morrocan and french or who the hell they are chatting me up on msn..aaarghh blocking them wont do because i think he is passing around my hotmail to his friends or something, and how the 'fudge' they got my hotmail in the first place i have no idea! Asking wont help because i dont understand a 'fudge' they are typing!!! Its probably latin and some french, seriously irritating..

Haizz and gendeng is going out of town again, 3 weeks in a row!!! dammnit! how fun, im not surprise if maybe he have a wifey over there (kidding kidding,but hey he was laughing cheekily when i commented on it!),so yeps im gonna miss his presence again, you know its strange i miss him more when he's away...Not that i dont miss him at all when he's around..

Anyways Merry Christmas and enjoy your holidays people :)

Sometimes i want to abandon my life here..

Go away to a new place and start from scratch..

Somewhere i don't know anyone at all..

Just sometimes..

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Hey, im not perfect you know just like you..

I cant please everyone..

I am crushed by your words, the damage is done.

We did not win the Canon Digifest competition.
Disappointed we still are but everything's good now.

*One indian finalist and one malay finalist.
What are the odds of us winning at least an award..?
Zilch..

Its ok we'll keep on trying :)

Anyways i still would like to thank everyone who voted for us and show your support!
We definitely appreciate it a lot!

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Right now, my whole body is aching and ive got blisters on my toes,
That's it, im going to swear off wearing heels for quite awhile.. :(
My feets are not made for heels, dammnit!

All due to the hectic weekend.

Well these are photos taken over the weekend :

The night of the event at the newly-revamped zouk (though i failed to see much difference in it)



The people who made Love Bleeds a success in our own eyes :).. Us..





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At a wedding of a good friend's sister


We were doing our usual catching up when Fai told me that a girl from our school has passed away 2 years back from Leukemia,i was very very stunned, i assumed that she's living a good life. I was surprised because she was one of those popular girls in school, very cheery and atheletic. So it was hard for me to digest the news when the image of her back in school flash through my mind. And i heard it was quite a sad ending to it..

Made me ponder for awhile how bless i am to be still around and living. I know this girl will somehow be a successful person one day if she's still alive, but unfortunately not..

May God bless her soul..

The wait will be over tomorrow :)

And im getting all jittery and excited!
Gosh imagine how it will be if i got nominated for Oscar? (Hah okok way out of line, as usual)

*Mama i promise, you will be my date if i got nominated for Oscar. And i make sure you will look very glamorous as well as getting you seated next to brad pitt so that you can irritate the hell out of him with your nosi-ness (that's what she said)! Just that tomorrow occassion wont suit you, haizz i wish you quit grumbling not being able to tag along, kalah kan anak dara si mak dara ni..
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This weekend will be a busy one..

And gendeng is going out of town again, haizz..mish mish him.

This time he better drive home safely, looking forward next week. Finally both of us can unwind, wanna watch King Kong!

Ive read King Kong journal webbie, seeing how tedious the production has been, im so psych to watch it!

Have a swell weekend ya'll!
Roger and out!

p/s: i see a pattern, i realise ive been updating my blog every wednesday and saturday,hah!

We actually had a real conversation last night.

It felt good :)

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And right now i miss my little nephew so much!

He wont be here for a week.

Never mind auntie will try not to miss your peachy cheeks, your glossy lips, your adorable smiles and infectious giggles, and your 'baby scent'.

I'll make do with all the videos ive captured of you and replay over and over again..sigh







Heh, shall stop here,if not ill be uploading more photos of him.

Auntie lis sayang rayyan :)

Very random *

- My skin feels like sand paper (due to 'sun-burned', swimming)

- I am having bad coughs, i foresee losing my voice soon (it happens annually, some people actually thinks it sounded sexy when its all raspy, husky and squeaky, what they dont know how bloody painful it is,quit the mocking)

- I love cooking breakfast nowadays, u name it raspberry pancake, prata roll, fried maggie, sandwiches, yadaa yadaa.. the satisfaction you see on their faces when they lick their plates clean is priceless. (this will be rare next year,Lis will hopefully start working)

- Reading romance novels, non-stop. I know im hopeless.

- Starts playing badminton again with, the bedah, counsins and neighbour, (sorry qihuaians if you are reading that is, i decided to make use those rackets collecting dust)

- Nenek has gone home, i miss her presence,sighhh..

- December is a month of non-stop events, birthdays, weddings, engagements, blah blah, goodness im alredy broke, but there are still invitations to attend. monay monay monay,damnnn..

- Our short film made it to the finals, im still over the moon.

- Love life..? Still clueless, dont ask.

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So what if this has been so long overdue, Miss Bedah, you have indeed turned the big 2-1!

The tomboy has very much bloom into a very beautiful woman (eh what took you so long??), shes all about butterflies, flowers, sequins,colors, and all those girly-wirly stuff, you my woman have made it this far and im so proud of you, for the things you went through, you still stand tall. Although gone were the days when you were all tough on the exterior, and now all sheepish and decent, you are still the same nonetheless!

So babe, Happy (BELATED) Birthday Siti Nurbaidah Bte Jamaludin!

*p/s: the bbq turned out great,i had fun!

ok the video has been uploaded for few days already!
So u peepz can start voting for our short film that has been selected as a finalist
in the open category!

Alright ill admit im kinda desperate getting everyone i know to vote,heh oh well i dont really feel guilty, so vote hor!

Title : Love Bleeds (click on the title)

But hey the url i posted here is already the page of the short film,so just fill in particulars in the form and submit,its that easy.

Thank you to everyone who has voted,regardless whether or not you like it (hehe you know who you are,people who have been forced to vote by me)

Appreciate it a lot.

Ehem ehem! *clears throat*

I shall allow myself by making a shameless announcement,
Not that i need any permission nor is the annoucement im gonna make is shameless at all, Ok whatever! straight to the point,im bursting at the seams already and cant contain anymore this good news~~!!!

We have made it to the finals!!
Yups our short film has been shortlisted to be in the finals for Canon Digital Video Fest!!
Woohooo!! Dammnn to be choosen top 5 is so surreal ok!! All our hard work and effort has not gone wasted! Gosh im so proud of us!

So the shameless part is i want you guys to vote for it la please please !!
Last year those few hundred who voted early will get free tickets to zouk for the finals. This year it will still be at zouk and im sure there will be free tickets given away!! see see a reason to vote!!

I will definitely post the URL here once the canon website has uploaded our video and ready for you guys to vote! I'll update!

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Anyways this week has been tiring for me but a good one though!

Last Tuesday, i went to watch Harry Potter again, free tickets courtesy from my cousin, its been awhile since we had an outing together ever since she got married and now a mother of a little daughter. So its my sister, kak linda and me.
My sister apparently adores the movie so much, her favourite scenes were at the underwater of the Black Lake and the maze, she cant stop ooh-ing and aah-ing over all the special effects. Hehe Young kids are easy to please aren't they?

Wednesday was 'supposedly' another movie night for 'free' again. Heh, i can definitely grow accustom receiving free tickets. But then sadly it was not to be because the movie Islyana and me wanted to watch wasnt showing at Lido, but it was definitely pleasant to spend time with just isly. We yak, we bitch, we laugh and we flirt (un-noticed of course)and we discuss about our upcoming plans and a trip early next year! I cant wait babe!!**Oh yeah we bumped into zif and az on our way back!

So i thought maybe Thursday i wanted to just stay in, but what a surprise when an aunt of mine invited us for a dinner (huge one by the way) and hey coming from her we all were puzzled by this sudden generosity because we really do not know what was the occasion. And well i was stunned when i found out! My uncle has bought over the seafood restaurant at the railway station, i mean i always go there to eat and chill (though now its quite different already), so imagine the shock we all got!
Hah, well im just thankful that i got to eat for free ;)

And today i had a brief meeting and accompanied Baidah to Mustafa centre afterwards to shop for her stuff for later in the evening BBQ. Its been so long since ive visited that place, and each time i went i will get goo-goo eyed over all the cheap stuff! My favourite has got to be the chocolate section! Im a self-confess chocolate junkie! and that place has all sorts of chocolate at cheap price! For awhile i thought i died and went to heaven, haha yeah with tougue wagging and all!

Gosh im actually updating my daily life without realising!

Haha im not done yet la, there is still saturday, i have a wedding and a bbq to attend but im going to forgo the wedding la (although i love going to weddings!) and go to the bbq instead, and sunday i just cant simply wait for it!! Mama and me has been day dreaming a lot these days and it has something to do with this sunday,weeee!!

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haiz, funny how some words can simply melt your heart..
he better get his ass touch down back in changi runaway by sunday morning.
I miss you (too) gendeng, your sms-es past few days made me smile like one hell of a silly lady..if only..haiz

have a fun weekend everyone :)!!!