Weird, just weird
Watch Sweet November and Ungu Violet last Saturday on TV,
Similarities between the 2 beautiful love story were
The love of their life was suffering from terminal diseases, both leading men in the movies had an artistic nature , Nelson (SM) was a creative director and Lando (UV) was a photographer, both ladies were free-spirited and strong.


The best thing eh both movies were showing at the same time that night!
Imagine switching channels back to back and worst of all tearing for 2 separate movies..?
As usual i got vulnerable like hell..

This was the second time i watch Ungu Violet, and i so love every scene in the movie well except when Kalin met with an accident and she just had to bring that damn champagne glass along which resulted for her to be temporarily blind! Nevertheless i love how poignant the story was told..sigh..

And just like Sweet November, i love the ending! So yes Sara will eventually die but Nelson did not need to see that part of sadness of their short-lived but beautiful relationship. I was so moved when she blind-folded him and led him away.

Anyways, as i said before and i'll say it again dating man with artistic flair like a photographer or an artist or composer/singer or just someone who is arty-farty is sexy ok, just look at Lando (UV) i so love his brooding look and his expression when he's taking photos, sexy banget!! And what's more re-assuring is he's actually a good artist in real life, saw the credits roll and there it was his name Rizky Honggono under Storyboard Artist! Storyboard artist are usually good so thus he wasnt exactly pretending to be all artistic in the movie! Heh!


Sigh..i digress,i miss being loved unconditionally..

I applaud Suria's attempt to create better exposure to the four Annuggerah finalist, at least we know they wont vanish into thin air so quickly (like previous years winners) because now we practically see their faces everyday on TV (no offence but im getting sick of it).

But i dont see the objective of their new drama, other than the obvious reason of course, selling these new faces. The first episode was a disppointment, the storyline had been recycle so many times before by the Tv station, over the years we had 'Bara', 'EC', and a few others that i cant remember. Dont get me wrong, im not saying every drama that has been produced by our local tv station is not worth watching, in fact there had been a few which was really really good like 'Selagi Ada Kasih', 'Rahsia Perkahwinan', 'Fenomena'. Maybe they dont realise that not majority audience are all teeny bopper who goes 'gaga' over the four guys. It will be pleasant though if we could watch something bold and different for a change. For example 'Erlin Montel' and 'Dimensi 4' i like the concept but then again, there's a message behind it. Its hypothesis..

It will be great to have stories that is so dramatic without any moral conscience! I mean i certainly do not like to be constantly reminded that being fat is ugly or eating healthy is the way to go, come on reality wise its harder than this you know.
Televisions and Movies, are sometimes like cheap escapades to fantasy where impossible things happen, most of the time that is (not including docu-drama/news). Im sure we have so many scriptwriters here that has so many crazy ideas but just not brave enough to put it to use, since our audience here are over too critical at times and conservative.

Like TV3 in malaysia they have amazing plots for their various dramas produced,its a wonder how come we dont have that kind of product quality..?

Anyways, im sure the four guys are very grateful for the opportunity given to act. Otherwise im content just to hear them to just sing for now, that's what the talent show is about right?

Overall, the drama its still ok though for entertainment value..while waiting for ANTM to show at 10.30pm.

*************

You're a porcelain doll that sits in a window
You hold your breath when people walk by
Safely kept behind rose-colored glass
Neatly tucked beneath the spotlight

Waiting for someone to love...

You're a Cheshire cat
You think a smile hides the rest
Ambiguity will always cover the facts
Where do you come from, where do you go
Must be lonely to be all alone

Waiting for someone to love...

And when they come, they'll accept you just the way you are
You'll swear under a moonlit sky about rocks in the sky
trees backed up by the sea
thin wild mercury

Until then, you're waiting for someone to love...

~Someone To Love by Kate Earl~

Im diggin Kate Earl, i love her songs la..

This week two of the Most Special People in my life turned a year older

One of whom is this little 'kenit' (dwarf-like),


Rayyan looking like 'mat cool kenit' hehe

He is already A year old! It just felt like yesterday he came into this world and rain plenty of sunshine to those who adore him.

So mama and me decided to go orchard the day after his birthday when it was our turn to babysit him (yes he's so spoilt,he got 2 babysitters to take turns).


The little one looking so nosy at some abang-abang Chinese at the bustop,


He's growing up to be one Kepo fella,no doubt about it!

Our mission? To get his birthday present, mama insisted on buying him a nice looking pair of shoes, not toys for him like i suggested. According to mama he has plenty and in fact can open his own toy shop (yes that many, see so spoilt). We finally bought him a very cool pair of Nike shoes, so cute i tell ya! Too bad i did not manage to snap the photo. And i think he likes it too just because he was so eager to try it on and even fuss with the sales woman to hurry up to get his size (in his very own language of course,heh). I also decided to get him an apparel that looks so nice to resist, this gift is courtesy from his 2 aunties (my sis and me).

This is him sleeping looking so exhausted, as if he's done all the walking!



Okay now that you are setahun jagung, please please auntie want you to walk!! You are not getting lighter by the day!!

******

And the other one is my sister who turned 13 on 17th feb.. Got her hair rebonded for her birthday (something that she had been longing for quite a while).. I cant believe how much she's grown, i still feel like she's my 5 year old kiddo who never fails to annoy me, but now my sister dah pandai nak melawah hor! How do i know..? When i notice my makeup brush set went missing, or how mama found my eyeliner in her bedroom, how constant she keeps changing her bag to school, and she likes hogging on the phone nowadays.. Im worried of course just in case she will go 'Hanyut', i will not allow that! Talking to her helps though, you know like boys stuff, girls stuff that i know she wont tell my mama or even me in fact, i had to pry about her school life and be an understanding sister, but what she may not realise im just keeping tabs just so she wont fall into the wrong company, kids grow up so fast nowadays, curiousity kills them..

Haizz darn i sound like a paranoid overprotective sister, when i was her age i surely wasnt happy when mama tried to control my doings, heh i guess this is how it feels.. karma isnt it..no?

Never mind,all i want for her is to enjoy her secondary school life to the fullest (in the right kind of way eh), and so far its been ok, she's even taken in my footsteps by joining an infocom CCA in her school, which they learn filming stuff, i dont know if she has genuine interest in it or just for the sake of joining just because the 'kakak' is into this thingy..?

Haizz, she has indeed grown up..my little brat.. Happy Birthday!

Yesterday night, i felt the tingling sensation after it happened
It was truly wonderful, its been awhile

Yesterday night, under the moonlit sky with fireworks (invisible) to boot
I was reawaken from my long time slumber (of heartbreak)..

Yesterday night, i re-discover the adrenalin rush and the very joyous goosebumps that had gone numb on me ever since the heart has been broken..

Yesterday night, i realised im moving ahead and well
It feels so liberating..

Thanks to him..

Im not in love nor am i in like, just my deepest appreciation of sinful pleasure..

I might have done a mistake but nothing could have felt so right for that short moment, when i smiled and told myself 'im free of you'..

Thanks to him, YOU will no longer be my obsession.

Once again im not in love nor am in like
But the sweetest sin has made me realised
Im ready for what life has to offer..

++++++++
And if i could replay that moment again yesterday night with music..
It will have to be this one by The Submarines 'Hope'

"im going away but im not giving up.."

How apt, whilst listening to Life after Love, i was wondering about mine.
Sometimes i dont understand this thing called 'Love'. I wish it separates itself from Life instead of constantly being there, it hurts to love at certain times you know.
It just hurts that everywhere you turn, you see, you touch, you feel, you walk, you smell..Love has just got to be there..It just sucks when you are in pain because Love is the last thing you want to feel as memories how bittersweet it had been flashed before your eyes and before you know it tears starts to fall.. Whats even more worst, is how you wish so bad that Love comes to heal that pain..

Happy Valentines Day to Everyone and (You)..

++++++++++

So the deal about last Saturday was how badly Elfy and me was craving for chocolate fondue!

Elfy decided we should check out the newly renovated Marina Square and at the same time have our fondue over there. The search starts for the most lucrative offer, from coffee club to anderson's ice cream to chocz and also this japanese western restaurant which i cant recall the name that serves fondue as well. At first none attracted our attention, we thought of crossing over to esplanade to check out Haagen Daaz and Max Brenner's but decided against it just because we were plain lazy to walk over. We picked Coffee Club but elfy had to drop the bomb that she needs to withdraw cash (her treat this time) so yeps we went back to suntec city because we got so lost in marina square and couldn't find any atm machines (or simply we didnt look hard enough) so by the time we reached coffee club, guess what it was doing its closing! I realised then we were never gonna have that fondue so we finally went to Andersen's as our last resort, and make another guess! Yeps when we ready to give our order the waiter told us there's no more family fondue! I just had to let out a huge sigh! i was baffled, its either they dont have it or we were the last customer seated and they do not want any fussy orders, ironic was they had single fondue (which we ordered eventually, with another two desserts). Suffice to say the 3 desserts we had was sinful and therefore managed to soothe us down..hehee..

Later on, we actually walked over to esplanade and noticed that Max Brenner's was still opened and packed,we cursed when we saw this couple dipping their kiwis,strawberries whathaveyous into the fondue..urrghhh! We should just have gotten our lazy arses there! Next time next time ok..hehe.. Pleasant stroll by the esplanade, treated the ladies Ramlee burgers at the CNY bazaar further down, talked some more and we were at boat quay, it was fun till we realised we were at clarke quay and haha almost joined the MOS queue for fun, haizz it was snaking all the way back, Singaporeans loves fad things arent we? Finally, these 3 idiots then lost track of time who assumed that the night is forever 10pm!

Thank you my lovely idiots for the painstakingly, heartwarming, wonderful time! Screw my aching foot plus body, we will do it again eh, hehe wah lau wei macam nak maki ok!! (hah ok dat last line was the joke for the night,never mind that!)

Im playing mother to this baby for a few days


Elfy's latest possession, ipod video which she bought earlier this week

The reason its under my supervision because ive been ordered by Miss Elfy to stuff her new lovely ipod video with goodies. Such as music, videos, photos, yadaa yadaa the works..

Now, after giving my full tender loving care towards it, i realised ive grown very attach to it. Sighh..now i do not know if i can part with it tomorrow. Unless of course mama has agree to my plan to run away from Singapore with the ipod in tow, heh which obviously my dearest Elfy wont be glad to find out!

Anyways, after toying around with the ipod i think its very sexy,no wonder ipod always tops the MP3 player chart. It certainly gives a higher self esteem to its owner, its stylish and sleek,haizz.. I will be haughty if you see me donning the white earphones in my ears, parading the ipod as i walk the talk!

But alas there's one downside of this ipod video though, it only plays Mpeg4 files for videos, which is a huge huge bummer! On second thoughts you will think 'oh well, i could have just gotten the nano'.. but still it doesnt beat the buckets of envious eyes you will get when people see you with it!

++++++++

So elfy was bumming around in my room the other day, i was showing her the photos we had, and the latest photo of the Happy 3 Friends (namely Baidah, Elfy and Me) taken together. We were talking about how we look until it strike me to dig out an ancient photo of us taken when we were 14 years old! And until she gasped in surprise with what she saw the similarities in our photos of then and now!

Warning: Ancient Photo ahead. I repeat Ancient Photo ahead. Dont say i dont warn you.


See this was us back then! In all ugliness and during our decent nonsense days! When life was much easier and less complicated!

And this is Now (photo has been published before)


The Happy 3 Friends are still together after all those years, and age is catching up on us.. and yes life seems much more cruel and so real nowadays.. The tired eyes that went through so many things is so visible here compared to the then photo where we looked so carefree!

But above all can you spot the similarities (besides the same old face of course)??
Hehee we have taken the picture in the very same position as almost a decade back!
That's what made elfy gasped! No there wasnt intention of posing in this order as in Baidah, middle me and Elfy, purely coincidental and at the same time ironic! Showed Baidah yesterday and she was touched by the photos somehow..sigh..the power of Happy 3 Friends..heh..Well i certainly cant wait to meet you guys tomorrow for our date!

WoOweEEE!!! Have a swell weekend everyone!!!

Everyone must have heard the news about the derogratory cartoons of Prophet Mohammed(pbuh). I have been surfing the internet and read the news updates as well as forums, to actually know how everyone's reaction to this recent controversy be it from a fellow Muslim and non-Muslim.

It saddens me to read the comments made by fellow non-Muslims around the globe. Although there were some neutral ones, i cannot help but felt very defensive towards my belief.

Its hard for me to read these comments at face value on how they perceive my religion. As liberal as i can be, as modernised as i already am,as much as i do support freedom of speech i believe there is still boundaries that you shouldn't cross which is very very sensitive.

With Islam's reputation at stake for the past years, it had come to this that finally hit a nerve on Muslims world-wide. Our Prophet Mohammed(pbuh) has never been characterised before, so to find out that a fellow non-Muslim is actually doing that and at the same time mocked Islam is very unacceptable. I cannot deny that i dont support the violence response by some Muslims towards this issue, it is indeed wrong. By letting off steam in a rage and harming innocent parties only confirms those bad assumptions non-Muslims have against us.

At the same time, it hurts that there were people who said that we Muslims should have a sense of humour just because Islam is not the only religion that has been degrade through cartoons or movies, so does other religions. Or how ridiculous these muslims are to boycott products manufactured by that country, and worst of it all Islam had been the cause of many wars that occurred.

So you see, i had to gulp all these comments down that shows so much displeasure and it disturbed me. Obviously there were Muslims who rebutted back and explained in a very civilised manner and point out very clearly that not all Muslims has terrorist tendency in them.

The fact we have seen cartoons of Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin laden and other Muslims associated with terrorism being poked fun at before, and so far it had never received such outcry from Muslims world-wide as it is now, it has become too much to take when one sacred figure in a religion is being treated in such an embarrassing way (apparently the cartoon was of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) donning a bomb as a turban). It's the same reaction as someone insults your own family.

Maybe these people who made these comments has never been given a chance to actually befriend someone who is a real Muslim that doesnt have the thought to behead them the second these people open their mouth. Maybe the violence they saw through the Media (that has been exaggerated sometimes)has led them to believe so. Maybe if they see the world through our eyes, how hard it's already is for us to actually tolerate the daily discrimination that is still being thrown at us Muslims. We suffered the terrible consequences for the horrible terrorist attacks.

Im not here to say that im such a pious person, but i stood ground for what i believe in. Friends of mine who are non-Muslims have thrown questions at me,ie; Why do muslim woman wear the hijab (headress),or why dont you eat pork,or why do you starve yourself for half a day for the duration of a month?? or sometimes i'll be dumbfounded with questions like, why dont you wear the hijab if you are a Muslim? or its against Islam to drink alcohol but i know many muslims who do,why dont you..? or why should i convert to Muslim when i marry a Muslim lady? If im supposed to do that why cant they convert to my religion instead? or Must all malays be Muslims? or who do you worship? I dont see any significant figurine of Allah before,so how do you know he is there?..and its endless i tell you.
It's tough, i do get laughed at when i failed to give a convincing answer to them.
Its not that i dont know my own religion, its just sometimes i cant explain it to you in my own words or if i did explain the real deal as to how and why,it may baffled you and you might just ridicule me. The key word is Respect. Dont point out what you deem as flaws when you dont know the real truth, and vice versa for i always repect what other people believe in.

You know sometimes i wonder if all these has actually to do with religion? Or does it all boils down to racial hatred? Or those people who has greed over power and wealth made us innocent beings as scapegoats to get what they want..?

So many questions, but before its being subdued, new tragedy arise and therefore more accusations.

Have some compassion and understanding for everyone.. Then maybe there is 'world peace'?

Sometimes its strange to think how very similar we are.
And yet i dont even know him.
He likes cameras and books too.
It maybe coincidental but in some weird way,its quite delightful to gather what little information i can get about him.
It made me ponder really hard.
It scares me and i got goosebumps whenever my mind wander far off and let my angst ride over me, i start to cringe, questions arise, that heavy loath feeling emerging, and how remorse i felt thinking about the possibilities.
But then i snap back to reality and 'it' will fade away.

That is..until it came back to haunt me again..

++++++++++++

Earlier this week my adorable nephew Rayyan went for his first trip to the beach! We opted for changi hoping that it wont be overpopulated like east coast or pasir ris, but my oh my how wrong we were! Already at the first carpark in Changi we saw mini 'kampongs' (tents) stretching all the way down! So i suggested to my cousin to drive all the way down to Carpark 7 that many did not knew about (but now u do,yes for those who dont know,carpark 6 is not the last carpark at Changi beach),its way further up if you dont drive slowly you might just drive pass it. Hah but oh well, i shant be a smart alec about it because as soon we were there, apparently there were plenty other families who were aware of carpark 7 but still it was ok,not awfully crowded to the brim unlike carpark 1 to 6.


The little one was very excited as soon as we reached there, he was taking in the new surrounding,the unfamiliar environment. With the strong wind blowing and the vast sea before him, he was just content sitting down on the mat and play, hehe what he did not knew was, we were gonna dumped him in the water!

Obviously he cried! We were all soothing him that its alright and tried to coax him further in the water with his floaters but he was very intimidated by the huge waves,
but he likes the sand though, likes it so much that he even had a taste of it,haha so cute!


His first 'touch' with the 'thing' name Sand, look at his buncit tummy, sexy aint it?




The dad with the giant and long 'tits'..

Well, eventually he was ok with the water, here's a video of him 'swimming'



Verdict? It wasnt so bad at all his first trip, what else did he learnt and saw on that day..? He saw the huge thing name Aeroplane literally flying over his head, he was staring at it in awe and amused by the noise that these things made.. Haha mama always did the 'flying-spoon-with-airplane-sound' when she feeds him, so he must have wonder why this thing did not end up in his mouth.

And all the way back he just cannot quit doing the the airplane thingy! With his two cute hands in the air as if its flying and plus his own version of special effects sound "awwwuuuuuuuu" over and over again!

mungkinkah kembali segala rasa yang telah hilang
walau hati kecilmu masih mencintaiku
tak ingin ku bertahan meski kadang mendendam
akankah kau bahagia bila cinta tak ada untuk dirimu lagi

~Mendendam- Marcell~

+++++++++++++

Love and Pain come hand in hand darling,
How amazing we've come this far,
Through thick and thin,
Rain or shine,
I've no regrets..

Earlier Today i was in my 'lazy mode', But My Bedah insisted that i meet her to take the goodies she bought from her short vacation last weekend.
Since i assumed that she was in a hurry, i just went out in haste and decking out in a very selekeh attire. If she had told me earlier that we are having a lunch date i might had dress up for the occassion tau makcik!



What a pleasant surprise when she told me that she's treating me to Swensens, i gave her the 'are-you-out-of-your-mind' kinda look, just because there was no reason or occassion that we should spoilt ourselves with Swensens on a boring Wednesday afternoon, furthermore she was all chirpy and hyper, and looking all dressed up, and she shopped like nobody's business, i swear!! that this was not my best friend?!!!

I told her "Eh apesal dengan kau? did u leave my best friend behind or did you just underwent some major extreme changeover or something?"

But she just keeps on laughing! Till she made my heart melt over lunch when she said
"Takdela, i felt i miss you, so i thought why not meet you and treat you to lunch, cannot eh?"

Awwwww!




chocolate,mango,strawberry,vanilla,cookies and cream, sticky chewy chocolate, fudge malt,mint...sigh, would make any lady weak in the knees any day!

Thank you so much, when you said that you already made my day woman! It felt great to laugh and smile, and finally the lunch was pretty much a good idea to finally sit down with you and finally share what's been bugging me.. I felt so relief afterwards, what was i thinking? Trying to keep the matter from you..?!

And when i was walking back home i realised, i felt 100% better and as i recalled again the lunch date,it became clear that when im upset or depressed over something i just have to look at you again and over how much strong you are, it just felt good and i began to reach for my own inner strength. You told me that i was lying to you and you had assume that i was much stronger. Guess what babe, we need each other to be strong, i was your pillar of strength and vice versa :)



p/s: thank you for the goodies, plus the bag and earrings and the lunch including you making me happy! you spoilt me!