I am suppose to cook something for tomorrow's nye get together. The problem is, I can't think of a single thing to bring for the potluck. In fact I can't recalled the last time I was in the kitchen to cook up a storm!

This is really bad, I wonder what happened to my domestic side?

Martha Stewart, please hellllpppp?!!

to be continued...

About 10months back, we hit it off like no other because there is so much to share suddenly.
To a stranger no less.
The chemistry was phenomenal as we rattled away about everything under the sun.

One in particular was this love for photography. He is the practitioner while I am just the photo gazer who loves analyzing photos of different sorts.

On normal nights, our conversation consists of any website or blog I discovered of a photographer. We raved, we compared and we learned for hours. Other times he will be talking about how he cant wait to get his hands on a new camera lens, latest accessories, different techniques and we even discuss the possibility of me having my own dslr. If I do, I have it easy since I have my own personal instructor on standby. Heh but he is kind to advice not to rush myself into this since he has been observing how people have been buying dslr because it is cool to have one but know nuts what ISO even means. He foresee it as exciting though, if I do get one and imagine all the things we can do together :)

My dark knight a former industrial designer who decided to leave that field of career to move on to a more realistic job while at the same time he is furthering his studies very soon have decided that photography shall remained a serious hobby to make sure he does not lose his flair for the arts (in general).

His relationship with his camera can get quite intense but one which I gladly approved :)

After putting much thought to it and how multiply is getting boring. He decided to create his own photo blog to post his photos as well as to serve as his own portfolio. It is still not 100% done yet but if you are reading this, spend sometime and click here.

And if you must know, I always have weakness for men behind the lens since the longest time. They are truly sexy.

(Sorry sweetie! I stole this property of yours heh, please still adore me)

Now that I own one, bless me!

It has been a whirlwind week and it's not even over yet. I had an anxiety attack last Monday and it was horrible. I miss home too not that I haven't been going back but I miss 'home' and spending time with my family. Especially long chats with mama. It hurts me to look at her face every morning asking me non-verbally to slow myself down. That expression haunts me.

Thank you Ms Lini for the phonecall and for checking up on me. Hehe, a phonecall which I regard it as my window to the world outside. Your quota is considered fulfilled for this week. Looking forward to our meet up soon, especially those girly talks and you promising to giveaway a small part of your new wardrobe. I can't wait!

I also must say I am ever so grateful to the boyfriend who have been nagging at me incessantly. To have this, have never felt so welcoming in a long while. Despite the nagging, it was those daily night calls filled with much gaiety and humor to wind me down after a tough day.

Now that I've calm myself down, I need to go and save the world or so it seems with the way I have been flying around. All I want to do is go home early today and get a love hug from mama. Sigh..

Lately I am not in the best of moods. It's a chore to even be sane.
I am not even looking forward to next week's trip which feels like a burden right now.

Thankfully my dark knight made a difference. For the past months we have been together he had been nothing but the most patient man I ever encountered. It baffles me sometimes why he is still sticking around. Not that I want him to leave me ;)

Take yesterday for example, we only managed to go for supper. A reason valid enough to meet because if we don't last night then it will be 2 weeks and a half counting next week that we lovers will be despaired of each others physical presence. Haha.

The motive of this entry is the sweet surprise I received from him. Never the sort of person who thinks he has to be a super romeo all the time by lavishing me with materials, he was otherwise yesterday!

My dark knight got me an ipod shuffle! In a typical fashion of asking me to close my eyes as I stretch out my palm. I couldn't stop giggling and feeling excited. I mean I am sorry but I never was the type who would receive random gifts on normal days except on my birthday. Heh so imagine how delighted I was!

I couldn't stop squealing soon afterwards. This man simply bought me this in return of not letting me borrow his ipod. Men and their gadgets, he is possesive! Thinking that he does not need his ipod as much ever since he owns an iphone was a huge mistake!

Listening to his reasons why he decided to get me the shuffle instead of the better ipods made me so happy. He knows me so well that I would under utilise the mp3 because I drive and I have my laptop at home if I need to do some jiggy. But the obvious reason was he knows that I am always not careful with gadgets. Hehe as easy as that and all was forgiven.

Till now, I cannot stop beaming how much this man has grown onto me. I remembered whining to him how my friends boyfriends can give so much to their girlfriends, testing his tolerance at the same time as I pretend to be difficult. He said, he may not show but he likes to surprise at the least unexpected moment. So far, he kept his promise :)

I have this issue with my bottled up anger and the last thing I want to do is to explode.
Knowing that the cause of this anger will redirect the guilt onto me makes it even harder.

How do I cope with it honestly? I am not willing to share the whole naked truth here because I have learned to be less personal. Just that, sometimes sharing is not caring.

I need a way to channel all this negative ions into something positive. Sigh...

Anger Management perhaps..?