ATTENTION :

Miss Surizah, Miss Islyana, Miss Kin, Mr Diyar, Mr Yazif, Mr Faris

The Badminton Rackets in my room are collecting dust.
You have 3 choices

1) I will ask my mama to make pickles (*Read: Jeruk) out of it

2) I believe with the number of rackets i have here in my room, i can start setting up a Badminton shop; rackets, shuttlecock and net for sale.

3) Or start utilising the Rackets again

otherwise,

the rackets will be engulf in more dust, and its not good for my condition, i have sinus you see.

hehee

Translation : Guys! can we play badminton soon!

Dearest Best Friend,

When i saw you online, my heart skips a beat, i was holding back hoping that maybe you would said hello. But yes, i gave up. I put my pride aside, its been going on too long this tirade. And also, i miss you so much.

Im glad i said Hello, holding my breath that you would response. You do not know how happy i was when you said Hi, and i wanted to keep the conversation going so that you would not go offline so soon. Unravelling the doubts between us made me felt better, a huge relief after a few months i was pondering with a lot of conclusions. You know how much i detest having assumptions on someone. And i hate myself sometimes, because some of the conclusions were negative. Besides that, i was so worried about you. Blame it on my gut feeling.

There were desperate times, when i wanted to go over your place especially when the silence became unbearable. Unfortunately, i was caught up with work. My bad, no matter how busy i was i should really really have been more persistent, but then again, you know me well enough, that i wasn't keen on giving in this time. I was stubborn. Then again you should know, as quickly as i put up my defenses, its the same how quickly i realise maybe i was being too unreasonable, especially when i know that you are going through a tough time.

After finding out, more or less, what happen, i felt so guilty.
I cant begin to say much, somehow no words of mine can measure up to make you a million times better. You are so numb to hear all those advises over and over again.
I dont blame you. But all i ask for this time, dont shut us away from your life.
We've been friends for too long. Risking this friendship is a huge deal for me.
Let's pull through this together..? Can we..?

We'll catch up soon..?
We'll embrace each other and seek solace together like we used too?
And after that we laugh silly at ourselves over how naive and corny we can be?
Im counting on you to make it happen because im so so looking forward to see you again..

Love
Your best friend

P/S: Babe, im sorry and im glad we sort things out in a way. In the mean time before we get reunited, take care..

25th of August.

Though it may not be as much importance to you now,
Just so you know, i still hold this date very dear to me..

It was when we started our journey together,
Then I wish for forever and endless passion
Sad to say,
It was not to be

Its significance has a lot of memories
Beautiful and Ugly

Now we are on a crossroad
A glass wall between us, i can see you but i cant feel you

And after meeting you last night,
I wanted to cry
I felt a sense of frustation
There we were bantering and laughing with each other,it seems normal
But i felt the hesitation and the hostility in the air when there was silence between us.
My emotions were raging inside, oh i dont want to lie, that i was expecting something from you,more hope i suppose..? Is it because i was being paranoid that the next day WAS 'our special day'?
Maybe so..

I was disapppointed,
I just dont know why, although we had a great time
As soon as i know there was nothing to say
I cant wait to get away from you
I dont know if you notice, that last night i did not linger longer in your car, i got out without even looking at your face and i walk away without even turning back
I'm sorry but my feelings were escalating rapidly and i know if i stay longer i wont be able to hold back my tears.

I have to show you that i dont care
I have to show you i'm strong
I have to show you that your existence dont mean as much as it used to be
I was being nonchalant

But who am i kidding?

Sometimes i dont know what to term our relationship now,
It looks alright,
but how long more can we carry this on..?

Its so funny when people around me believe that things are going fine between us,
and that im considered lucky to still have you, unlike my friends who broke up for good, but what they dont know is the more you are still with me the harder the torture is, to hide my feelings from you.

I had my days when i felt so fine without you but there are days when i just crumble and breakdown for no apparent reason. Im not a nutcase, but how can you explain feelings?

That's it,
Im missing you
I miss us..
Still do
Every Single Day..

*And for the record, going out with you yesterday has no special meaning to commemorate the eve of 'our special day'.

A beautiful afternoon

My nephew izzryan haziq is here,
Dancing with him to Chantal Kreviazuk in my room,
It was funny and cute, as i sway him and rock him gently
And it works, the soothing melody was a great lullaby for him

As he sleeps peacefully,
I love watching him sleep,
I can stare at him for hours and forget all my worries..
Seeing his apple-like face, he is my instant remedy..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

~Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk~

P/S: Celeste if you are reading this, you got me hook on this tune, and im loving it

Yesterday i watch a docu on Alexandra Nechita, the famous child prodigy who made it big as an artiste with her extraordinaire paintings that had been compared to Picasso and in fact she has also been nick has 'The Petite Picasso'.




She is here to exhibit her art work.

I believe Nechita is the epitome of a modern day Woman. She is beautiful, articulate, humble and also at just 19 years old she has achieved so much beyond ladies at her age.
She is a suitable role model candidate, espcially with her noble's ambition to spread the peace loving world message through her work of art is very amazing! She has place her statue of peace one here in Singapore at Catholic High, and she wants it to be placed at every continent in the world, her theme, the threads that binds.




Her wonderful art work has grace many parts of the world and truly i envy her. I envy her at such a young age she has achieved so much and make a difference in many youths to inspire them. I do not know about other people, but one day i will like to make a difference too. Now you can mock me, laugh at me, critise me or tell me to dream on. Its just one of those dreams that i have in my endless list, i do not mind how big is my contribution but being able to touch lives with one's kind doings is incredible!
Maybe what i dream will not come true the exact way i want it, but if it happens its one dream come true.

Tell me has anyone have dreams that is so incredibly silly and out of reach, that when you share it with your friends they will just laugh you off..? Im sure many of us do, well if it eventually happen can you imagine who will be having the last laugh..? Now wouldn't that be a good place to be..?

Have a good saturday and live your dreams :)



One of Alexandra Nechita famous paintings, Crown of Peace.

Yoga classes are getting more and more intensive,
My muscles are cramping espcially the stomach area..
Oh darn, why am i complaining! heh

+++++++++++

Anyways, i have finally uploaded the KL trip photos! Gosh it was so many (minus sado's camera) that it was painstakingly tedious to upload! And this time i opt for Multiply to upload them,i think its better than Shutterfly.

*Psst although, not all photos has been uploaded due to explicit contents hehee (*winks to Elfy*)

So KL was wonderful, i have to admit that i ate too much there! Yes my appetite increase 10 folds when im at foreign land, like midnight cravings, multiple snack time and so on. Even Elfy who's not so much a big eater as i am, surprised me when she ate like there's no tomorrow! Hahaa in fact, both of us ate more than the guys! Which the guys of course felt defeated because they never knew ladies that ate as much as us! My fav place is Nasi Kandar Pelita, located at Jln Ampang, a few mins walk down KLCC, darn the food there was so shiok ok! Definitely gonna drag my mama down there on our upcoming trip! Thanks to Gendeng who recommended the place!

Shopping wise, it was hell of a good time balls! Malaysia is having their mega sale and i used to think their sale was not worthy to buy but hey this time its better! Elfy and me were prone to the word 'SALE' anywhere we went there! We were desperately running against time and immerse ourselves with as much as we can not wanting to miss anything! The guys of course was not spared, the fact that they are GUYS, it was extreme surprise that they were great shopping company! What they shop for too can rival with us ladies! It was crazy!

The stay at the hotel too was a pleasant one, i shared my room with Elfy, as usual we are soulmate roomies hehee! Photo taking galore with purpose to add in to our scrapbook that we are working on, us having late nights talk again,about our future, about our present, and more gosss,it was simply bonding at its best! And yes we realised we have travelled by air, sea and land together throughout our almost decade of friendship! And now we reflect back on everything, after going through thick and thin together, we appreciate each other more and i love you more darlin!

On the other hand, i was happy that Gendeng and me mend our relationship, its better now and we tolerate each other better i think, sigh strange when we were in relationship how petty we can be..? but hey i like what we have, and in fact i think my feelings grow more (hehee oh shit!is that a confession?!),oh well see wherever this will lead, no high hopes people, lesson learnt.

Sado, Gendeng's friend is a funny guy! He cracks so funny jokes that had us all laughing in stitches! With all the stories he shared about back then when they were doing their national service (sado and gendeng were camp mates),the comments he made about random stuff, it made us all feel at ease and it was a comfortable cohort to go holiday with!

As a matter of fact, the 4 of us enjoyed this trip so much, we planned to go on another trip together at the end of the year, still pending though, bangkok and bali are in the talks. See how lor, if ka-ching is on my side!hehee

To summarise everything, it was a trip of people getting on great and a smooth sailing journey despite minor bumps like the bus we took on our way there and the Monorail incident. But overall, i wish we could have stayed longer! hahaa anyways i have photos to share,go on if you are keen to look espcially at my fleshy self *winks*

For more photos, click HERE

Yay!! Congrats to myself!
Ive got my very first hate tagger!

Her nick is Fashionista (i know i know very lame *rolls eyes*)

Ok so she claims Im FAT, TYPICAL, UNAMBITIOUS MALAY
And she thinks she is, NOT FAT, UNTYPICAL, AMBITIOUS MALAY

First of all, i might not know her or maybe i do..?
So she chance upon my blog and read to her heart's content and then after all that she got the cheek to discriminate the owner of this blog..? How disrespectful??

So you said im FAT..?
So what..? don't you see fat people around all the time..? Does it occur to you that we human come in all shapes and sizes and that if you have a phobia against fleshy people like me does it occur to you that some people might not like your body too..? What do you have against people like us..? Were you almost squashed to death by a fat person?
Darn i wish you have been!

So yes, im fat and malay and if you call me typical i wont argue, because it comes with pride, i've stop believing in being 'un'typical. Everyone else like you has assume too much that they are not typical, after awhile we all are the same, im sure there are some typical tendencies that you have that you are not aware of, and i dare put my bet on it. Trust me i do.

But don't you look down upon people like us, proclaiming that we have no aspirations.
Im malay but i have my very own aspirations, although eventually i will love to settle down and have a family, doesn't everybody? And that includes every human race existence on this planet.
As for my aspirations, i want to become a VERY VERY successful filmaker, with my very own production company, and my ultimate dream is to be on TIME magazine being the first MALAY female director to break through Hollywood.
So you see i have BIG Dreams, very BIG that i wont rest until at least one of my dreams will come true.

I believe you are very narrow-minded fashionista. Why do you loathe your kind so much..? Materialistic, having a purpose in life ,wow! Bluek! Im not impress la! There are many millions other people who have the same principle like you and yet you tell it as if 'YOU ARE ALL THAT', sadly with the way you spat around, you are very Malay my fren, and definitely not humble! how shameless you!
Are you an avid reader of my blog..? if you dont like what you see why do you keep on coming..? Seriously, if you want to tell how GREAT YOU ARE, have your own blog and gloat yourself there, pls do not pollute mine with your unkind words that do not do justice to me to who i really am.

As much as your words angered me, im not really deeply affected by what you said. In fact, i felt a sense of pitiness towards you, why? Because your thinking is so back-dated and shallow. Your heart is very black towards innocent people like me who never do harm to you. I shudder thinking how you can still live your life with the way you think about everyone else.

Well Fashionista, i love my life,i embrace it, so even if im Malay, Fat but definitely not UNambitious, im still grateful for who i am. At the same time, i have an open mind, an optimist, very driven, and passion for the things i love, but i never never stoop so low as to judge someone looks, race and their life.

Its very nice of you to drop by my blog, but please refrain yourself from making further comments without making a point. This is my life not yours, let me suffer if im fat, let me endure my plight if i get settle down early and that my ass will balloon 10 times after that, because at the end of the day i live my life, you dont live my life for me. So go on ahead, and live your dreams and stop wasting your 'challenging' life for these. Totally unworthy.

God Bless you.

P/S: so before you go tagging my blog to reply... STOP... and KNOW .. i don't care on what you have to say. But if you insists on tagging... either you are a very typical malay who doesnt understand simple ENGLISH or it just shows how UN-CLASSY desperate you are to prove yourself someting that you are not.

The first time i watch the trailer on tv for this movie, it was simply love at first sight,I had to watch it,i had to! What's more convenient was the movie premieres on the 4th of August nationwide in Malaysia,perfect! Since i was in KL from the 5th to 7th,i gushed to Elfy before we depart that it would be great if we got to watch it there but i do not know how to convince the other two guys since the movie being a Love story and all, you know how guys detest watching a Love story heh..

On the way to KL i suggested we watch the movie since all of us were planning our agenda for the 3 days we will be there, and i was correct when the guys groaned that of all things i insisted on watching a movie, but i insisted that the movie was not being shown here, i was a tad bit upset but shrugged it away consoling myself that i will pester mama to buy me the dvd the next time she goes to indon..sigh

But!!! Halt! The guys saw the trailer on tv and although they might not admit it, they said well the trailer was not too bad and maybe see how we can squeeze our time to go and watch it,heh i saw glimmer of hope! So eventually we did went and watch the movie on our last day there just because we got time to kill before going home in the evening! And plus it was also my first experience watching a movie in a foreign country!
Gendeng suggested to watch at KLCC, and by the time we got there,i was amazed by the the queue that was snaking all the way out,it kinda disheartened me really! but we brave through the queue, yups! 'WE' meaning all 4 us queue to buy the 4 tickets, haha silly we know seeing how the queue was getting longer and we thought we joined in, i think some of them might cursed us afterwards as the other 3 tailed me to the counter and purchase our tickets!

I was glee with excitement as i entered the theatre,it was full house! The audience there was more rowdy than here but i think they were good at letting out their exasperation when each scene dont go the way it should be! interesting indeed!

Anyways the movie was worth of my RM10!! I do not know why, but i always have softs spots with indon films and even their music, if you ask me to go watch between a malaysian movie and an indon movie, i definitely pick the later in a heartbeat!
Maybe it's their language..? the way they express themselves well..? the poectic words and the scripts that really was very captivating,

Ungu Violet simply stirred a lot of emotions in me, i cannot comprehend but i felt i was part of the movie, share the happiness as the couple found joy, shed tears when they were both in sorrow, its simply evokes a warmth feeling in me, it moved us so much that Elfy surprised me when she began sobbing discreetly but audible enough for me as the leading man in the movie narrate a poem that even hit me hard because we totally relate to it (*if only at that moment i could simply turn to Gendeng and tell him that was how i really felt inside..sigh..). Oh and of course the technical aspect of the movie was superb, the colours were rich, camera angles that depicts the emotions of the scene, although the pace was abit draggy at the beginning (according to the guys) it will never bore you out. Dian Sastro(Ada apa Dengan Cinta) already an established good actress and Rizky Hanggono brooding looks, has a chemistry like none other typical couples potrayed in movies. Oh yes and i should mention there were elements of photography input in it since the main actor is a photographer, i like it a lot !!! Hahaa even Elfy and me was kidding with each other that we should fall in love with a photographer since they seem to have that intrigue aura about them!

Im not so sure if this movie will be screened in Singapore but it certainly is a must watch! If not go JB or indon lor and get a copy *hehee*, i recommend the ladies watch it together without the guys, because the 2 men that watch it with us were debating how the movie left unanswered questions and also why did the director have to have that certain scenes and bla bla,it was endless i tell you! But i know they like the movie too though not as much as elfy and me because from the moment we left the theatre till we got back to the hotel and left for home they were humming to the addictive tune of the theme of the movie! hah!

My conclusion is although some might complain that the storyline is typical since i had read reviews from the net, i believe if you cant direct a simple storyline well and evoke a lot of emotions in it, seriously do not bother sputtering that a Love story should revolve, nope,the director did a good job with the simple plot and work his way through from the acting to the technicalities of the movie right down to the soundtrack. And i read an interview about him and he was being asked what outcome does he want from the movie? His answer, he just want the audience to feel for the movie, be caught in the emotions and leave the theatre with a heavy feeling inside.
Well Ranko Prijanto, if you ever came across this, i have to tell you i am one satisfied customer, nuff said! and trust me you inspired me somehow :)

Here is the synopsis of the movie and pictures from the movie:

UNGU VIOLET

Lando (Rizky Hanggono) is a depressed photographer who has just recently separated from his fiancé. However, after meeting the beautiful Kalin (Dian Sastrowardoyo) by chance, Lando was immediately struck by her beauty and offers her a chance to model for him.

It does not take Kalin long to fall for Lando but the latter unexpectedly rejects her affection, driving away the heartbroken Kalin. Unbeknownst to Kalin though, Lando is suffering from leukaemia and does not have much longer to live.








Right now, i need to dust off my dusty brain and write a good script, and ive been wanting to do that for ages and ive been procastinating, (for my own project).. inspiration at its best,
toodles!

We conquered Kuala Lumpur,
Heh well not literally la..

Lis, Elfy, Gendeng and Sado

Did and seen so many things in 3 days,
Stupendous dats the word

Of so many things that happened
One incident left me traumatised,
We were in the LRT when a little child got his hand stuck at the door of the cabin,
The blood curling screams, the tears of the mother, everyones pleading to the driver,
has left me astounded, to be honest i have a weak heart and this seriously had my blood drain out as i held on tight to Elfy.

In a way,im glad the driver did not open the door along the way because it might endangered other passengers.. Gosh its really not safe, the crying of the little child still lingers in my ears each time i recall the incident.

+++++++
This is really a monotonous entry i think,
im so tired,

Maybe after i calm myself down ,will i have more zest in updating my wonderful trip at the same time im waiting for photos from Elfy and Sado (a guy who seriously loves to take pictires never met a guy like him before! plus he was so hilarious!!)

Certainly a great bunch,something like Fantastic 4! hahaa

ok im zonking out !!

Out of this bustling city and over to another even bigger bustling capital,
My weekend will be well-spent,
Im sure of that,
Well hopefully no more dramas like our previous trip a few months back heh

So peepz you guys too have a smashing long weekend!
Espcially with the birthday of our Nation is around the corner!

Peace out!
*Be right Back* mode

Whenever You Call by Mariah Carey & Brian Mcknight

Love wandered inside
Stronger than you
Stronger than I
And now that it has begun
We cannot turn back
We can only turn into one

Chorus

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call

Verse

And I'm truly inspired
Finding my soul
There in your eyes
And you
Have opened my heart
And lifted me inside
By showing me yourself
Undisguised

Chorus

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call

Bridge

And I will breathe for you each day
Comfort you through all the pain
Gently kiss your fears away
You can turn to me and cry
Always understand that I
Give you all I am inside

Chorus

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call

Chorus

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch you fall

+++++++++++++++

I do not need 'i love you's' , 'i miss you's'
These words are better left unsaid until the time comes,

Only then..