Today Hollywood celebrates the best of Cinema.
The Prestigious Annual Academy Award Oscars.

This year's Oscar surprisngly was full of surprises and i enjoyed the 4 hour
show immensely :)

The most memorable speech that i heard at the Oscar comes from Sidney Lumet whose been a successful Director. He received the Honorary Academy Award.

What he said totally inspired me! He said what keeps him goin is that he always dream of receiving an Oscar one day, and after he made a few films he start to daydream how his speech would be if he finally receives one!

I cant help but smile bcos that is exactly what my dream is!! To be there and receive MY Oscar and give my lengthy speech, its absurd i know!

It was totally delightful to see at this year Oscar when you see the nominees for awards like best visual effects, sound editng, lighting,film editng documentary and others get recognition by standing on stage pageant-like before announcing who won, these are the people who matters most,they are the ones who made the final cut into sumthg extraordinary for all to watch and enjoy.. N honestly i feel for them, all their hard work paid off, and their expression of happiness on their faces said it all!

Sigh.. i wanna be there sumday! Probably the Best Director or Movie? or Best Film Editng? eh skali Best Actres??! hahaa hmmmm wonder wat kind of dress wud i wear d one wit the plunging neckline? or bareback? eh no baju kurung how?more sopan! hahaa kk enuf of this!

Anyways,im so estactic abt today!! Great things happening! cant wait but at the same time nervous! k GD DAY peepz!!

Live Your Dreams :)

Had a swell of a time on saturday nite! Thax to Kin & Diyar!
**Special Thax to Diyar for ur treat yah!

Have you ever wonder which do u prefer..?
Truth or Lies..?
Wat abt deception..?
These questions got me thinkin after i watch the movie CLOSER (A MUST WATCH)

Romance has a way of robbing our minds..
We forget to breathe
We forget to think
We forget to feel

In a world of our own,we r all selfish in a way or another..
CLOSER made me think of that..and it kinda reflect sum things in a new light that i nvr thought was the logic behind the unreasonable..

Appreciate who you have and dont take things for granted
And learn to be a giver and lesser of a taker..

Really watch CLOSER and you will know what i mean..
This movie leaves me a deep impression n left me pondering..(or is bcos im still fresh and sore frm a break up..?)
And its true if they r urs to love and to keep, they will come bk no matter how many years it takes..

**will write a detail entry of Saturday outing and also on Friday wit pics included
Rite now im juz feelin disgruntled, or juz plain lazy to upload d pics!or to write more..im tired..need a breather..a lot of things are happening at d same time..haizz

Gd nite "Stranger('s)"..

p/s: enjoy the song..ive fallen in love wit it juz like ive fallen in love wit d movie..frm the soundtrack of Closer.

People say if you love someone, you'll let him go
And if he's urs,
He'll comes back..

To let go,
Yes i did that to make him happy..

The bitterness inside me he'll never know,
As much as this heart is bruised it is still beating hard for his love

I decided to put the final full stop to our last chapter of Our Story
Not bcos i want too
But i cannot bear the longing feelin that you are unable to appease for me..

I will never doubt ur love and i will forever cherish ur existence inside my heart..

Today, i get to savour of being in ur arms for the last time(i suppose) and memories flash thru my mind how these arms had been my source of comfort for the past 1YR and 7MTHS..

Happy Anniversary Gendeng..

I understand how you are feelin torn between ur love for me and the issue that we are having..
I feel sorry for what happen between us when this relationship 'it could hav been'...

You will be missed and forever be loved..
You will always hav a piece of my heart..
Bcos you were the First..of what i dare say that you were all i wanted in a man..
And if fate allows me to find someone,
He should be better than you bcos you set the standard
And if i do not
I'll be content to hav known you..

**And if you are to return to me..one day
Bcos Fate and Destiny is on our side
I will always know that my love for you will never stop growing..

Till then..
Let Our Story hav its day,it has taken a toll on both you and me..

Take Care..

With Love,
Your Dear Lady

While i was sittin in class for my lecture today, for my business and legal studies,
I realise media field is not all about fame and glamour.
Being in the industry, u hav to know all sorts of things in and out..
Its a dog eats dog world,juz bcos u hav a pretty face and talent things dun realy go ur way..
I suppose legal issues is one of the main issues u hav to be knowledgable and aware about, so ppl dun cheat on ur rights.

You'll be surprise to know that industry people are two-faced, they are not d nicest people around wen it comes to be workin wit them. Its inevitable. I suppose in a way im like dat too, u hav to play dirty. U cant afford to let them step on u like a doormat, or they'll take advantage. Funny bcos them who play this game will be one of the most successful people around, they are agressive. People have been tellin me to toughen up bcos in d real world being nice dun alwiz be return in kind, they do but yeah not evrytime. It scares me to know the nitty gritty side of this line. But here i am pursuing this profession.

My parents hav warn me before i took this course, they told me to think carefully bcos the prospect of working in this field espcially in spore is very cliche.
I knew the risk, very well in fact it scares me even now wat if im still jobless after i get my degree..? Im worried evryday, spore is still a tiny spot for film making field, no doubt its growing but still its market does not look lucrative.
But my passion for it i guess dats wat made me believe that i'll be there sumday, the simple satisfaction of being in this profession is to see ur name appear in the credits, really nuthin beats dat..


Hahaa im rambling here, dis shows dat ive been thinkin abt my future which is quite bleak rite now..
Hmm if nuthin goes well, perhaps i shud start searching for a sugardaddy..?might come in handy espcially asking him to buy me expensive equipments!
Or maybe i'll juz marry a DAMNN RICH man and settle down a tai-tai life..??? hahaaa okok dats not me!!

Hey you! whoever reading this entry yah..tell me is thr such thing as u love sumone but cant be wit them..?pls flood my tag-board wit any comments.. i want to know

Bcos apparently he tot of this theory, sorry i dun mean to be blunt here no worries nobody will be sending u hate mails after dis gendeng, but i think you are out mind, u r confuse and simply dun want to make any decision.. in the end u turn the table back to me..

Let me tell u straight here,u clearly know my decision do not i repeat DO NOT force me to make any decision juz bcos i cant stick to mine..not bcos i dun respect urs, honestly,last sun i was prepared for the worst but im not prepared for wat u want on mon! that's contradicting! how can you want it dat way?bcos its convenient for u..?
Have ever consider my thoughts..ever?? Hell man,im mad here bcos ive given u alot of lee way, u dun be lovin to me one day and tell me u cant make up ur mind the next!! dats juz wrong!! Pardon me, gendeng but im juz frustated bcos u dun simply understand me if u dun want too den tell me instead of sayin u cant giv me up but sumthg is holding u back again!!

Tell me if u happen read this (which i doubt u will tell me)wat is the possibility of me not being on the losing end..? you nvr answer dat u damnnit!!!

Ahh..oh baby i hate to be mad at you and i know both of us are really confuse bcos of the issue that we are facing dats wat make us a different couple,we went thru shits like dis before but i hope dis time we'll be stronger..despite everythg we still love each other..go to hell to wat ppl say abt me n u being wrong, i dun want to bother abt that i juz want to isolate u n me so we be at peace bcos rite now we have messy tots.. but gendeng i wont deny that im glad to know that you do love me and dun want me to leave u..but hun, how long can u play this charade..?haizz i dun noe..i really dun noe im torn but yet my heart sticks to wat it feels to love him.. is it a sign dat mayb its real..?or mayb its a sign im foolish..?zilch.. i hav not hav any answers but juz assumptions..

Hav a gd Wednesday..oh and yah eat carefully!bcos ive been havin diarrhoea, n yeah its been bad,espcially wen i was controllin it so hard wen i was in class..haha kk im so disgusted also better not to get into details..

Till then..
Au revoir..

Baby Haziq is finally home!! oh that cute tiny little boy!!
Hehee he's in the centre of attention! Evrybody ooh-ing and aah-ing and coo-ing at him like how he would yawn with his tiny lips but oh-so perfect shape of his mouth, and how he would open his eyes and all of us start gushing at him (juz bcos he sleeps most of the time..my nenek said babies sleep alot so they can build up their body mass and gain weight!!haha yeah haziq sleep more so u grow bigger faster!!)and how all of us stare intently at him wen he was drinking his milk..sigh..it was a moment of content lookin at him, all ur worries being pushed aside in awe of this bundle of joy..

Haziq, Aunt Lis is goin to smoulder you with more kisses ok,today was not enuf!! nah-uh!! i love d baby scent!!! hehee honestly i could stare at this baby all nite and not be bored!! haha wonders...

Anyways if u ppl watch Constantine, wait till the credits end and watch out for some extra scene afterwards if u are willing to wait that is for the long scroll of dem credits..! Keanu Reeves..sigh..all suave and rugged wit that edge he has, he still looks good even when he is bloody..Warning: Constantine not for the faint-hearted..

OH by the way,it feels like fallin in love all over again..Sigh..still got that butterfly feelin in my tummy when i met him, my heart did flip flops..n he look deliciously edible..both of us still hav strong feelins but i guess we are not sure shud we proceed or let it stop.. but frm what i gather frm him, surprisingly he was unwilling for us to seperate for good..oh well, we'll see..for now im juz feelin content and therefore will replay today images over and over again simply bcos it wasn't a two-faced meeting, but two beings juz sincerely enjoying each other company like we always had even if its juz for a short while..

From the bottom of my heart, thank you..
It had been wonderful actually..really..

Today i'm spent..its been awhile since ive been this tired..
I'm not complaining.. in fact i welcome this..been idling too much..
The heat was scorching when we went out to shoot some stuff..n me was fasting n i tire easily i guess the guys notice that.. me being out of tune and easily irritated, sorry yah! My migrane which has juz subside a few days back, made a short visit probably due to the rain..but then it was all fine again after i broke my fast hehee it must be bcos ive been deprived of water and food..

At a time like this, when you r walking home alone and feel really used up
All i want to do is reach home kick back and relax and finally call that sumone uve been missing the whole day, sumone very dear to u, sumone whom u constantly think while doing ur werk and cant wait to hear from him...But alas, i lost dat sumone.. For weeks i know ive been declaring that ive missed that person but i wonder if he even gives a heck about what im feelin, sumtimes he sounds like he dun care sumtimes he does so which is it..? either way i cant even tell..i am paranoid sumtimes..

I want to be in love like rite at this moment..
I miss the companionship
I miss callin him in the middle of the nite and tellin him that i cant sleep and rite after listenin to his soothing voice it felt nice and i can sleep like a baby after that..
I miss watchin movies with him, not bcos hes paying for it evrytime but bcos being beside him for 2hours or more in the dark i felt so secure and that i know he will only be my side..
I miss having dinner with him, talking abt our day, him relating to me silly stories as we talked abt anything..and him stealing food frm my plate n i love that..
I miss watchg him sleep, juz lookin at him by my side as he snore i felt so complete and content at dat moment..
I miss him making me laugh, and how candid he can be
I miss him caring for me, i felt so loved n spoilt
I miss him being patient at me, juz bcos i can throw tantrums when i hav PMS
I miss him holding my hand tightly, it felt so right we r meant for each other
I miss him kissing me, it meant alot each and evry one of those
I miss him holding me close in his arms, bcos d warmth that he has comforts me
I miss his scent, juz sniffing him randomly, his presence consume me
But most of all..
I miss him being there for me..

At the same time now, ive regret falling in love..i dun noe if i can trust anyone
In the end,im hurt,
Is it better to stop hoping..?
Although im pre-occupied with my everyday life i cant help that as much as i want to distant myself frm loving sumone, i want to be loved sincerely and wholeheartedly..
Only time will tell..

Well hav great weekend, i want to work doubly hard and exhaust myself so bad that i will forget that there is a thing called 'LOVE'..

Sweet Dreams..

I watch Before Sunset on DVD, starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delphy. This love story is unlike any others. And im absolute that i hav fallen in love with the characters in the movie. Reunited after 9 years (the first film was titled Before Sunrise) after their one nite stand both characters Jesse and Celine hav not forgotten 'that' encounter. Since the movie was set whereby Jesse met Celine for a few hours before catching a flight home therefore its shows mostly conversations between this two. Sum ppl might find it boring but the witty script saves the movie. Both character have matured since that first movie and the chemistry is more obvious in this sequel.The shots are beautiful its in Paris for goodness sake!its alwiz nice to film there,walk along wit them thru d streets and u feel u r in paris at d comfort of ur own home,i did! Its romantic in a realistic way they carry the conversation..oh how i wish a genuine man is head over heels wit me..sigh..its like u dun noe if its the rite one till u lose them..sigh..
Anyways try to rent it or buy d dvd to watch it,it was release last year,a great movie to watch lounging wit ur galfrens..man i doubt they wud enjoy this but u can try tho hehe it varies frm different guys..

**



THIS CAKE..AND



THIS BALLOON..AND DEFINITELY THE JOYOUS NOTE THAT'S ATTACH TO THEM IS SUMTHG TO CELEBRATE FOR AFTER WAITING FOR ALMOST 9 MONTHS..AND THAT BABY BOY BELONGS TO ..



THIS COUPLE..CONGRATS ABANG IS AND KAK LINA! (notice the father is beaming proudly!)



THE HAPPY GRANDPARENTS..FIRST TIMER..HEHEE..My aunt 'Wak Yah' and Uncle 'Wak Ali', and the reason he's also holding the cake is bcos his birthday was on 14 Feb yup on Valentine's day and yeah i noe that the best gift he ever receive for this year is his grandson!



A GROUP PHOTO WITH THE GLOWING MOTHER..



WIT ME INCLUDED..

AND PRESENTING THE BABY MOHD IZZRAYYAN HAZIQ BIN ISKANDAR..



NOW ALL TOGETHER 'AWWWWWWW'..!

Dear Haziq

U shall call me Aunt Lis k..?nop not cik or wak it sounds too old for ur young n hip aunt hehehe..i shall dote on u bcos i believe i hav fallen in love wit u d moment my eyes sets on ur adorable face. You manage to secure ur place in my heart on our first meeting. Truly you not only capture my heart in fact those of ur parents, ur grandparents n ur aunts n uncles. Haziq u look promising, haha i cant wait to see you grow and gettin chubbier each month. I cant wait to laugh at ur antics too!! Sighh..yes boy im so smitten by you..

Yours Truly
Aunt Lis.

Oh by the way the waiting is not over yet for my Wak Yah and Wak Ali because another baby is coming into this world next month ..frm their 2nd and youngest daughter..
This time it will be a baby girl, yup i will dote on her too!
In fact i adore all my nieces and nephews,yeah got tons of dem hehe ok not exactly

ANTICIPATING THE NEXT ARRIVAL FRM THIS COUPLE CHILD..CANT WAIT!



MY FAV CUZ KAK LINDA IS FINALLY HAVING HER FIRST DAUGHTER THIS IS SO SURREAL REALLY! IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY SHE'S A YOUNG TEEN ASPIRING TO BE AN ARTIST(PAINTING).. OH WELL..WAKE UP LIS!!

**

Kin i have to thank you for being my saviour today :)
Expected it (most of you close to me wud noe y) cant believe receive sms'es and msn messages frm u ppl askin hws its been..But yeah all is good..Lookin forward to another day..
Patience will pay off.. ;)

Anyway Kin i suppose it was An Affair To Remember for our outing today..? (ok no kinky tots ppl!)
hahaa lots of fun eating my heart out wit u,juz yakking away as time goes by, and us pickin up our future wedding gowns and accessories,it feels like a real issue we discussin at dat point of time wen we r nowhere near the occassion..we kept sighing and awe-ing over stunning gowns.. i declare dat i want to wear a VERA WANG GOWN! Alwiz adore her designs, elegant and simple..i like simplicity..yup dats d way to go..here i go again..hehee yeah we go ga-ga over sales at Taka..haizz

Miss Kin thax again hor!



AND LASTLY.. TO MY BELOVED ADIK ILLYANA MY ONE AND ONLY ADIK
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARL..! MY PRECIOUS ONE DO WELL THIS YEAR..
*Present hav to wait till i get pay ok hor



*P/S: Dun DISAPPOINT ME SUNDAY..I cant let that happen again..hope he gets well soon..take care hun..

I've been loved and I've been in love.
There's a big difference

- Katherine Hepburn -

Ok 2 entries on d same date! k i was juz feelin-feelin listening to music
when i juz hav to put this song in d blog..
My exact sentiments towards u darling..
if u do read this entry, this song is dedicated for you..only you..
Not to plead but merely to let you know that i miss you..
Happy Valentines Day..


STOP by Jamelia (ost of Bridget Jones Diary- the edge of reason)

All that I have is all that you have given me
(ooh)
Did you never worry that Id come to depend on you
(oooh)
I gave you all the love I had in me
Now I find you lied and I cant believe its true
Oooh whoa oh

You better stop (stop)
Before you tear me apart
You better stop (stop)
Before you go and break my heart
Ooooh oooh oooh you better stop

Time after time I tried to walk away
But its not that easy,
When you soul is torn in two
So I just resigned myself to it everyday yeh
And now all that I can do is to leave it up to you aah oooh


Ooh whoa oh
You better stop (stop)
Before you tear me apart
You better stop (stop)
Before you go and break my heart
Ooooh oooh oooh you better stop

Ohh ooh whoa you better stop
If you love me
Now the time to be sorry
I wont believe that you had walk out on me baby
Ohhh yehhh
Oooh!

Ooh whoa oh
You better stop (stop)
Before you tear me apart
You better stop (stop)
Before you go and break my heart

No whoa whoa you had better stop, stop
Oooh whoa oh
You had better stop, stop stop
You had better stop, stop


Yours Truly,

*I notice ive been putting up alot of lovey dovey lyrics..i like it,simply bcos i hav the tendency relating my life to the songs..
Not too worry ive not gone psychotic yet just that i still miss him.. (*to those who r worried abt me)

Ok,gd day evryone! me goin to try to finish up my ssignment wit sumone's help!! hopefully its done by tonite..sigh..hahaha thax shidah for cumg to my rescue..cant wait for her to cum over..!

Finally i got enuf energy left to update,sigh..my flu has been on and off..
im feelin so terrible,and yes my whole body is still aching!! i was trying to imagine myself at a thai massage parlor,haizz i need dat desperately..and yes my business plan assignment is not complete yet bcos i found out im on the wrong track so i hav to do it all over again..i hate paperwork!!! and since valentine day is around d corner, almost evryone ard me is in love..haizz n those who had tiff wit their bf crying to me saying things will be over,now they r back again wit their partner,evryone is making up except for me..anyways of cos im not selfish im happy for u ppl..sincerely..

My previous day was fun! Start the day very early in the morning went to tampines, my mama drag me all the way there bcos Spotlight is havin sale, and the reason i willingly went bcos im goin to meet elfy thr ard noon for our picnic..

Oh yah my mama had her motive for bringing me along also,she wants me to babysit my nephew while she and her fren do d shopping (her fren is my nephew babysitter).. the thing is i adore my nephew too much bcos hes so cute la!!BUT BUT!! note the 'but'! he's so hyperactive la!! Hud Armani (his full name is longer i cant recall) cant stay still for one moment and i had to scamper around chasing him all over the place,i tell u if i were to babysit him evryday i'll lose alot of weight! but wenever i caught up wit him instead of feelin angry wit him i laugh so much,bcos he gav me a pitiful face and den he smile *melts* hahaa kids has a way tugging ur heart strings. Anyways dis boy will be a charmer wen he grows up,i saw the signs alredy hahaha, firstly he look so cute and handsome (i noe if i hav a son one day he will definitely look like him or i want him to look like him!bcos his mummy kinda look like me but slimmer version dats wat ppl say wen we were younger),dis boy knows how to pick up girls alredy!!i saw it firsthand wen he rush to dis girl who is ard 4 or 5 yrs old (Hud is only 2yrs old mind u!)he went n tap the girl and said 'hello' and gav his most dashing smile!!haha it was hilarious!!

Well after my mama done her shopping she bought 3 huge carpet (greedy!) which she left it thr in d end until my cousin's (Hud's mummy) husband will pick up d carpet at nite bcos thrs no way my mama can carry all by herself!we had lunch at elfy's place before we separated my mama continue her shopping in tampines while i went over elfy's place to prepare for the picnic..

Hud Armani in action (not easy to capture his pic he's constantly moving around!):


Isn't he adorable??!!

Okay,Firstly before i proceed,i really want to say to SITI NURBAIDAH, NUR SHAHARRUDIN AND MOHD FAIZULI, OH U GUYS REALLY I WAS PISSED OKAY,U GUYS CXL LAST MIN NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE IT FOR THE PICNIC,ok fine i understand that under some circumstances ur situation cant be help, u guys really want to meet us but not desperate enuf to come and join us, its alwiz dis way,and elfy was pissed off too! bcos of all ppl she really want to meet baidah yes if u r reading this SHE WANTED TO MEET YOU, dun be angry bcos im venting out my frustation towards u here,fine i understand ur reason but for sum reason i dun find it justified esp wen u noe wat u did to meet dat sumone,no im not being unreasonable i understand dat too but we were so disappointed u cant make it and worst still u dun even ans our calls(wen u noe how frustating it is wen ppl dun ans our calls)..really we do..and for the record yes i still love you my fren dun curse me but we tried so hard to get u to cum along..and to fai and din,i love you guys too,it wud be more fun if u guys came along bcos u guys noe we all adore both of u but dun giv hope wen u noe u r not coming..okok so next time no last min cancellation unless its sumthg that cant be avoided and i mean really cant be avoided! happen too often..n den i get complains frm ppl recently who said hw cum we r not plannin anymore outings, see this is one of my main reason CANCELLATION AT THE VERY LAST MIN.

ok so proceed to dat picnic,elfy,leena,shida and her bf(came later),elfy's siblings dahnial and lydia and also me had loads of fun nonetheless!! it was wonderful, the weather was kind, the food was awesome, the company was crazy! hahaa we eat we laugh we talk we played UNO, we talk again and den before ending the day we paid a visit to the arcade and yes ppl dis is embarrassing bcos i once swear too many times that i wud nvr step onto d para-para dance machine! and yes after much persuasion frm Lydia we gav in to her,OMG!! it was hilarious not easy ok! we even had 4 ppl on dat machine hahah we terrorise that thing it was fun though,but no i wont do it anytime too soon bcos i still find it silly! oh yah had a jolly gd time too bitching abt men wit elfy leena and shidah under the starry nite sky,it was great,we console each other giving each other advice and wishing for d best..haizz hey leena u know u r worthy of him i know him well enuf to know that deep down he lovs u,by the time dis is written dwn i receive a call frm u saying that all is well now,see honey it work out well haha i wonder if dat sms i help u wit did wonders?nah i doubt so!anyways u beautiful thing im glad u enjoyed being wit us, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO WOMAN! I LOVE YA U DIANA DEGARMO LOOK-ALIKE!!

Anyways let the pictures do the story telling..my entry is humongously long again..













over at the arcade...

*better luck next time shidah..hehee..

me and elfy..







*yes i realise im not made for riding a bike never will..therefore i'll stick to driving..yup..i will be a better driver then rider..sigh..


*cuteness!..sigh...

Parting shot..




That's it!got more pics but i think its too much alredy..thanks ppl for d enjoyable day,so next trip karaeoke rite..??!im looking froward to that,definitely another one hell of a good time!!muaaksss!

p/s: hav you miss sumone badly dat you wish he is erase frm ur mind..?instead of crying abt him to sleep at nite..his mere existence in my life left so much impact, he left a deep imprint in my heart and mind..d constant memories that flash thru my mind..dear i miss u still..yeah i hope we will work things out..

I've been feeling restless and disatisfaction, very unsettled..
This is not a good sign..
I need to focus (yes i need to get my business plan assignment done but my concentration is beginning to waver..sigh..)

I want to be calm and not be displace,im always capable of doing that,used to that is..
Ive been indulging myself to too much romance novel, its unhealthy..losing myself in happy endings its the only way i console myself that i am worthy to someone someday..
When i finish the last chapter, the heavy feeling crept back to me knocking me senseless and drowning myself to tears..
MOve ahead they said, saying is easy..
I believe ive been fine the last few days, but it's just temporary..

I have a friend who had a similar case (not mentioning names), she has yet to recover but yeah she moved on but the scar will be there forever..after yesterday she got to know some answers that had always been on her mind ever since he left or shall i say he ditch her..seen her thru ups and downs..seen him creeping back into her life after she slowly picked up the pieces he left shattered.. he came when he feels like it knowing that she will always have a weakness for him,he KNEW..MEN knew Women weakness.

Well, she's blissfully in love with another man right now, i cud not be more happier..Yup maybe there's a blessing in disguise kan gal..?Watever it is,its her past and she doesnt bother to hold any grudge,not worth it she said..haha..yeah no hard feelings,anyways i still think u be the first to get engage among us tau..heh.. and i better be ur maid of honour! and yes no pink for me eh!!lilac or purple will do!!hahaha k im blabbering nonsense alredy kan..heh..

i feel like writing more maybe later, sumhow i lost Zif's beautiful pics that he had shot and i want to publish here but i kinda deleted it i think or misplace it sumwhere here on my messy desktop..haizzz i sheeshh..nvm i'll post it when i find them,that's a promise! well actually more of my promise to Zif since i was suppose to publish it like one and half weeks ago..i think?haha oh well ive been caught up wit emotions la..Hav a great nite ahead people!!

Ok pardon the angst song..sumtimes its good for us..
Kinda made me feel better,
This song that is playing totally describe wat im feelin, n i totally relate to dat
So i shall share the lyrics here..

TAKE ME AWAY by Avril Lavinge

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do

[Chorus:]
All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands

[Chorus]

I'm going nowhere (on and on and)
I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on)
Take me away
I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on)
(and off and on)

[Chorus]

Take me away
Break me away
Take me away


Anyways, happy chinese new year to all hor!!!Hav a good holiday!

In the meantime, im stuck on my business plan assignment..
Haizz,i still cant decide if i shud choose to open a production company? an event management company?or an advertising firm..?
Decisions..decisions..
I'll ponder over it and i still cant decide,and this dun occur only to my assignments but other things as well..oh dear..ive been proscatinating a lot!!
Take me Away!! Anybody!! Really!!

My whole body ia aching,im feelin exhausted and i hav a feelin im goin to fall sick soon..*sigh..
My entry today will be a summary of 2 days Friday and n today Saturday,wanted to update abt yesterday's outing (went out wit Su and kin) but i was lack of energy, and Today went to hospital (kin came along!thanks kin!!) to visit Little Suhaidah(*melts)..
Let me warn anybody who bother reading this entry though i did mention it was a SUMMARY of 2 days but its nuthin really like a summary,so yeah its quite a long entry..heh..k im talkin nonsense,man its only 10pm and my eyes r so tired..

Feb 04, Friday nite

Anyways watch The Aviator wit d ladies(n im impress havin to catch a movie wit dem, they really can digest a serius movie!not dat im underestimating but not evryone will keen to watch this kind of movie genre)

The Aviator is abt Howard Hughes, a huge icon frm the 1920s to 1970s.
He is a movie producer, aviator and a billionaire. Hughes is certainly a great legend but in this Martin Scorsese movie the story is plotted during his significant highlights of his life. I must say its not Scorsese best film but it was tastefully done. Leonardo Dicaprio who played the character, sure hav matured alot in his acting skills. He does not exactly look like Hughes but he was convincing enough to potray the character. Cate Blanchett was amazingly wonderful as Katherine Hepburn sum ppl might think shes overly dramatic but she accomplish to act out the role of Hepburn wit her mannerism and all, i mean its not an easy task to act out a person who herself is a terrific actress back then..Kate Beckinsale as Ava Gardner, is a subtle character but shes there prominent in the film as one of Hughes important ladies who walk into his life.. The whole cinematography is breathtaking, the color was warm when it needs to be, dark and brooding when Hughes psychotic side was shown, the set and props was extremely beautiful every single detail to make the movie come alive, the editing was done wonderfully with jump cuts thru out d movie which i believe was purposely done dat way so as to make it feel like a real movie being edited in d 1920s,it depicts exactly the same quality of technicolor used then..Technically wise it was great but Story wise i guess they achieve covering the 2 main important part of his life adding more cud hav made d movie draggy as it alredy is (its 3hrs long! i guess sum ppl might find it boring at least a lady who sat beside me dun appreciate d movie after 1 and half hours she started snoring!!how annoying)..Ok shall not say more because if i continue it wud be an endless entry,i wud really recommend ppl who like to watch a biopic movie and brave the 3 hours it wud help if u got a sense of humor bcos the jokes in d movie was quite witty!

Anyways a movie outing wont be complete if these 3 ladies do not take any pics!!



Miss Kins new heels, haha definitely a good grab!!


We ladies are so smitten wit one another,all 3 decided to declare our affections for each other by purchasing a heart shape ring ala 'Tiffany&co'..all together say *awww
hehee


Kin and Su haha drooling over Will Smith, its only cardboard piece of him, wonder how they wud react if they met d real deal..sheeshh,i wud warn Mr Smith to stay 300 feet away frm them hahaa,bcos they r vicious!!


the toilet was not spared frm us to pose photo taking in it!


Coolness!


Our precious tix..thax ladies for d company last nite!

Feb 05, Saturday

Went to KKH to visit little Suhaidah,Kin and me bought for her an adorable Teddy! Anyways Suhaidah will always hav a speacial spot in my heart (shes baida little cousin) though i may not hav visit her often but whenever i visit her she never fails to bring a smile to my face..She is a special child, although shes not like any other child her age, i do envy her in a way, Suhaidah is oblivious to things ard her shes not ignorant but shes alwiz laughin or smiling away..no worries watsoever..her smile alwiz warm my heart..Plus she also has beautiful long lashes!!so pretty!! heheeh kan kin??hw? steal frm her tonite?hehehe..anyways wenever i see baidah and little Su i know both of them has a special bond and baida really truly cares for her..

here's a pic of little Su wit d teddy dat we bought for her



and a pic of us, baidah kin and me,



Okays..that's it i cant write anymore i wud want too..but damnn aint feelin too good
maybe for once i shud sleep early..?

*p/s: miss watching movie wit 'him',all d times we watch countless of movie wit each other snuggling and cuddling wit u in d dark..yeah miss dat alot..or d fact dat we wud alwiz hav different views after watchin a movie i miss dat too..too spar intellectually wit u..*sigh..

Love is not blind - It sees more and not less,
but because it sees more it is willing to see less.

- Will Moss -

It has been aN Awesome Thursday nite! After isolating myself for 2 weeks, i decided to do myself a favour and come out frm my comfort zone in my room and face the world (ok not exactly the whole world la)thinking i shud not deprive myself frm communication and stuff that is still undone instead of feeling sorry myself.. I mean i think 'he' sure must be having a GREAT time wit his frens while i was feelin miserable!

So anyways i miss spending my time wit the most to the UTmost awesome GUYS! RAJAN & DURAI!!I apologise if i hav been Missing in Action, but im back (wit venegance!haha)!

Today met up wit them to work on our short film script at Durai's place, they fill me in on the details that ive been missing and i realise im all hype up abt this project!
I get adrenalin rushes juz talkin abt this, thus intensify more my passion for the film industry.. Hell yeah! Nuthing beats putting scripts to life! The work and effort that you put into it, not easy but nevertheless the feeling you get after completing it is so rewarding wit the taste of satisfaction..

Getting on Durai let us watch a stand up comedy by an indian guy by d name of Russel Peters, and for 45mins i was laughing so hard i thought my eyes was goin to pop, my throat was expanding and my stomach was goin to burst!!!It was hilarious!!!No no IT WAS DAMNNN FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! i mean there he was making jokes abt all races frm indian to chinese to jamaican to whites and the blacks,it may sound offensive but wat he was talking abt was true, and im goin to say it again IT WAS DAMNN HILARIOUS!!!!!



Its Russel Peters! and yeah i learn sumthg abt d hand gesture dat he made, in india it means 'to eat' but in italy it means 'wat the fuck',hahhahahaah!!!!

Ok after laughing myself to tears, we start talking abt the script at d same time unwinding..i like being in their company its juz so comfortable and i felt like i was one of d guys (well yeah in fact they did say dat im like 'a off fly zone' sumthg like dat i think..)and they are r like sort of my 'GALFRENS' hahaa yeah we got along that well,wit them im shameless, ruthless, crazy and not afraid to be myself! It makes d meeting alot more enjoyable!

As usual Durai starts strumming his guitar, and i love to listen to him play, its juz so laid back and yeah hes really good at him,seriusly ladies will swoon for him wen u listen to him play and i got to enjoy it evrytime im thr, my own private concert and yeah i know Durai ur head goin to swell so big after dis bcos im goin to declare myself "Ur Loyal fan" the first that is..i think..?hahaaha


Durai doing his 'thang'.. Look at how engross he can be hehee,

While correcting the scripts we took pics, and surprisingly these 'GUYS' like to take pictures even more den my girlfriends do!!So yeah more pics!






Yup im holding him hostage, he better damn well complete that script or im goin to be one unhappy producer!!

We had dinner at Tanjong Pagar railway station, d food was dope as usual! Its good food good ambience and good company, nuthin beats dat! Wish i had taken pics thr but we were engross wit our food and them givin advice on my love life haha and they r damn good at it! We did took pics on our way back and experiment sum stuff wit d camera and d effects was quite cool!




Notice the aura around me..?hahaa coolness!

And here's my fav pic dat i shot! The beam wit the text dat did not smudge and i did not edit anythg wit dis picture well yeah except the caption,check it out


Yeah..?wat do u guys think..?

I wish i had spend the nite wit u guys as plan but im sorry i cant make it! maybe nxt wk..?? Thanks for makin today reaally enjoyable! U guys left me wit no mercy making me laugh so hard like there's no tmr!! N yah durai i really appreciate ur compliment when u told me dat im unlike most gals who joke openly abt anythg and a very gd teaser as well,oh well i enjoy doing it wit u guys and im sorry it wont be d last!! U guys too were great individuals wit great minds n yeah i hope we make 'things' happen yah!!Oh btw, forgive me but i cant resist putting up d next pic hahahaha




**Announcement: I plead to those who is reading this, and by chance you know any female or u believe ur galfren or whoever you know that is exceptionally BEAUTIFUL and i mean PURELY BEAUTIFUL..not hot,sexy, pretty no we dun want that.. We need a female to cast for our leading role for our short film..Anyone intersted pls do tag my board or email me at: atomic_creations04@yahoo.com.sg for more details
Thank you.


(I MISS U DIMWIT GENDENG!!N NO I DUN FANCY D TAG U LEAVE ME!!DUN GIVE ME SUBTEXT MESSAGES!!BE DIRECT OK!!TAKE CARE GENDENG)

Attention!! Finally my Bestest Fren Siti Nurbaidah updated her blog!!Phew...
Hahaa ok nuthin major to be excited but yeah i am bcos she wanted dis blog badly but wen she did, she juz abandon it.. So being a Great fren dat i am (hahaa) i constantly nag at her to push her..im not forcing but i noe she loves to write too, she got her own collection of diaries..haha so sweet..As a result of my nagging and a little favour frm me she finally post another entry in her blog -> Quizzical Lady

And today Baidah and me realise we never took a pic of juz both of us together, after 9yrs of friendship..n we finally did!!


psst! i realise my eyebags is so obvious here,yah evidence of lackin sleep..

U know when you are in love,they say "Love is blind"
And it doesnt matter, whether the other is old or young, ugly or gd looking, or watever attributes that wat ur partners hav may not be a liking to the people around you.
Love knows no boundaries, and couples come in all shapes n sizes.
Tonite baidah and me witness another odd couple, people say age doesnt matter..
But i cud not help but doubt this couple i said things like are they for real, or is she really sure, but then i thought again of the feeling of being blissfully in love.. ive been there too..n i guess its true when you love sumone u learn to tolerate alot of things that you never thought you could before they came into ur life..
As odd as d couple maybe (or for d fact dat i find d guy's attitude was rude) or d doubts dat i had for them lingers in my mind,'love is blind' does apply to every relationship..Think about it.. its not all bad though, where the world revolves juz between the two of u and u cud not care less wat others think..n i believe that is another sort of bravery to love sumone u never assume you wud want too..
Ive been thr myself and experience it first hand mind u..(not trying to preach really)

Oh yah another irony, was when i was at cineleisure with baidah and i recall last week i remembered clearly i was standing wit him in front of d famous amos shop and had a small tiff, though we sort of settle it unwillingly (bcos he to rush back and kin n her bro is waitg for me too)but before i walk away he pull me back and kiss me..N i realise dat was his last kiss(hopenot)..and if only i knew..damnnn d feelin of longing is creeping back.haizz

Anyways its been good today and while writing this entry (still feelin giddy!!) he came online n left a quick note before vanishin again.He said he miss me..haizz i miss u too..So yeah sort of lifted up my mood even more and therefore Lis feels like hugging everyone!! muaakkss..





When you love someone,
all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

- Elizabeth Bowen -

I made a foolish unreasonable decision dat put my heart on the line..
I told him i will wait for him..
Got his sms its very cryptic..he wants time but yet willing to let me go..
What's the deal..?

And why would i want to wait for him..?
I cant comprehend it myself too but its got sumthing to do wit L-O-V-E, i suppose..?
I assume it is..

A fren of mine he gave me a lovely definition of 'To love',he says:
Love is like a gift,you don't love someone so suddenly
You have to read the card, pull out the ribbon, tear off the wrapping, open the box
And you will have the surprise..
The surprise is you have to keep opening more ribbons, and unwrapping because the real gift knows no depth..so its never ending..That's how big a gift of love is..
But realise that you don't get that gift until you are ready to accept it

Isn't it nicely said..?
Had a pleasant conversation with him (in msn),
Told me not to condemn MEN all the same..
I know im unfair to judge but rite now it feels this way..
Thanks MR Tukang Kata for your reminder that love is not all hurt.
It soothes me better to know its coming from a guy.
I appreciate your concern as well..Anyways gd luck for your big break too ;)

Everything is dark and bleek now, but i hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel when all is done..
Im getting better each day mentally but not emotionally yet..
Gendeng you will be miss deeply, during this period of separation..

-> Several heart-wrenching breaking up quotes that totally relate to how i feel:

Nothing hurts more than realising he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.
Anonymous

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult
Anonymous

I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was
Anonymous

There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.
Anonymous

There's a girl in my mirror crying tonight, and there's nothing I can say to make her feel alright.
Anonymous

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
Washington Irving

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
Anonymous

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'
John Greenleaf Whittier

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
Otomo No Yakamochi



okk..thats more den several but i bet you relate to a few of them too..?

Anyways Diyar claims in his last sms (before he leaves to hibernate for 3mths),dat my blog is getting emo so very unlike the bubbly girl he knew..Hahaa i do not know people got affected by how u write..Endure these emo entries peepz ;)
I am in my 'emotional mode'..
It'll pass (i hope) so gradually probably more happy entries as days goes by..
Till then let this 'the-girl-who cant-stop-laughing-for-nuts' grief ..shes only human shes does not have special privileges to not feel sad and unhappy..

Taking a step at a time..Rest well to those whose been unhappy like me too..
(Im still waiting here,love)